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Angelina has some great wisdom here. I particularly agree with her comment that either he never told you how he really felt--possibly because you made it difficult for him to do so--or you have been refusing to hear what he's been saying for a long time. Possibly because you were happy having a...

I'm in agreement with this. In the end, a lot of people are looking to force others to change their minds and their beliefs. They have a right to their beliefs about being with a married man as much as you do.

I'm more in agreement with Vicki. You have a poor track record, in my opinion, in choosing men and who you fall for. You cheated on your husband when you had agreed to take a break. I strongly suggest you exercise self discipline and spend a minimum of six months, preferably a year, getting...

He's shown where he stands. I think you need to walk away from this right now.

The more I read on this thread the more I feel it's best just to let people handle themselves. I see this 'safety team' only leading to more drama, taking sides when none of them were actually there, taking sides without knowing the full truth, etc. This might be a case of MYOB.

Walk away from this.

I'm sorry to hear the visit went so badly. What happened?

No, you don't need to hang out with the metamour. Sometimes, people have unreasonable expectations fueled by their own wishes. My boyfriend always wanted kitchen style poly. His wife apparently (?) wanted it. Neither of them ever seemed to see the glaring problem: that his wife and I had...

Are you living in a country where only strict religious homes/couples don't go out looking for a third? When you say 'a third,' do you mean strictly a girlfriend for you or are you talking about a joint girlfriend for you and your wife both? Reading your post, it sounds like you're looking for...

In recent months, Byron and Iago have moved the new girlfriend in. He had continued to send me warm emails and texts, not telling me the whole truth about many things, including that he had a girlfriend at all. I'm guessing this is why the GF is suddenly so interested in meeting me. In a major...

The question, for which you asked for clarification, was not what the problem was, but who pays the price in the event of damage and harm. This related directly to the OP's question of when do you step in to voice concerns about a partner's kink with another partner. It's possibly irrelevant to...

It makes perfect sense to me. As gala said, there can be serious consequences to kink, life of loss or limb being only two. DingedHeart mentions a child finding these graphic texts and photographs. Who pays the price--emotionally, financially? The child who is exposed, through no fault of her...

And what if she sympathized with you that yes, she understands it's hard....it's hurting you...but she's going to keep right on doing it? Is that going to show you true love and concern for your well-being? The truth is, she knows it's hard on you. And she's going to keep doing it. Would you...

This. We've gone overboard with this idea that we are all entitled to do whatever we want. Okay sure but...there's such a thing as consideration for others' feelings and how our choice impact them. ADULTS recognize that 'relationships' do not and cannot happen between two people who do exactly...

I think we do best in life, including for ourselves, if we can see things from the other person's point of view. Maybe he thought he could do it as he watched these friends but found he couldn't live with that. That is his right. Maybe it has nothing to do with him viewing you, personally, as...

Why does believing you are 'polycore' make you feel that you need to kill yourself? What does it mean to you to be 'polycore?' That you fall in love with multiple people? That you can only be happy if you have multiple partners?

First: most people throughout history have been entirely capable of falling in love with more than one person at a time. Therefore, I hardly see anything unique enough in it to determine it' s an 'orientation.' It's simply human nature to fall in love and be attracted to others. Second: even if...

If by 'polyamory' you mean the ability to fall in love with two people simultaneously, I think this is pretty common to the human race, so much that it's ridiculous to have a separate name for it. If by 'polyamory' you mean acting on those feelings, it's always a choice to act on what we feel...

This is exactly why I've become skeptical of 'communication.' Belief in the great god 'communication' assumes that everyone involved is mature, evolved, and honest, has dealt with their issues, etc. I communicated very clearly to my XH that his behaviors were destroying our marriage. He lied...

In my experience...yes, the ones who play games somehow seem to win. I would still rather be the one deals hands straight than the one who plays games. I'd still rather NOT be the one who hurts other people.