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A final update: I took slightly drastic action, but something I felt was my only choice for my own peace of mind - I sent Pisces a long, considered message essentially saying that I need radio silence until he returns. Even waiting for him to message a good morning or good night with the time...

Gotcha. I've tried not to take this personally. It is what it is. He is letting me know his boundaries, and I can then decide what I'm okay with, and place my own boundaries.

May I ask what makes you say that, by what you are reading?

Interesting take, and yeah, wow, a lack of good, timely texting communication from my guy would be a dealbreaker. Mind you, we live in different cities, so text and video chats are our lifeline. He is good with both, when home here and alone (he lives alone).

I personally don't feel like a dirty little secret, but I can appreciate your sentiment. I am used to Pisces go elsewhere for his call with me or her, when he is with one of us in person. It's a privacy thing that I totally appreciate/get. I just wished for a private hotel video call from him, a...

I think he is trying his best to "do right" by me, or close to his best. I don't know fully how things are between him and Blue during this trip, so there could be other factors at play that I am unaware of. I'm trying not to place blame fully on him - I think we both play a part and both could...

True. He appears to have different standards in this, and I think a further conversation is needed in order for us to both understand what the other is willing to compromise on. I hate to say it, but if he isn’t willing to compromise/accommodate in certain things there, then I may withdraw my...

Yes, you are right - in theory I would like to be accommodating, especially in a beautiful outdoor place like Costa Rica, but won't know for sure until I'm there. I suspect that Blue doesn't even know there is an issue around me wanting to have a private hotel room chat with Pisces and me...

Unreasonable? Really? I don't think so. I guess my part in being flexible in poly is that if a partner needed something like this, they could ask, and I would likely be open to do this. When Pisces and I go to Costa Rice next year, there will only be one hour time difference from home, and if...

Update: I let my partner know my concerns, and he seems to think that I have been and am asking for two much. Sigh. I have suggested we take some time away from each other. Maybe think on what he is willing to give and I am willing to work with. Back to feeling sad/unsettled. ETA: I think I...

Challenges instead. This is my first time having to go through having a partner be away with their other partner, so that makes it especially challenging. I'm guessing it will get easier and we will all figure out better ways to work together on it, but for now, I'm feeling kinda yucky.

Thanks. And wow! That sounds like an exhausting trip - not sure I would have the energy for that much "on the go". And yes, I do know it's not reflective of his feelings for me at all. I just think that this could be done in a different way. We did speak of it ahead of time, but when he said...

Heya, thanks for the quick response. For clarification - sorry, we aren't that kind of triad. Triad in that we both date him. I have a friendly metamour relationship with her, but nothing else. Maybe "triad" was a poor choice of term to use. And no, this is not a working vacation for Pisces...

Another update: I'm feeling frustrated again. Yes, in theory Pisces and I can communicate freely now because of his roaming. But in reality, the 9 hour time difference sucks. We barely both have many waking hours to really communicate, and it feels like he is texting me in snatches of moments...

Always good to keep these things in mind. The issue with my partner here is that we are Canadian and his Canadian phone was still "locked" under contract, and locked Canadian phones aren't compatible with European SIM cards. No one told him this until he had to speak with the IT tech support...

Finger crossed :)

Yea, I have and am still feeling a little bummed about missing out on this, but as my guy likes to return to those areas somewhat regularly, and wants to take me to there and to some of his other favourite places (like Turkey), and I want to take him to the UK and specifically Scotland, I think...

So an update.... Pisces got his roaming set up, and we have started off with a video call/chat last night (for me)/early morning (for him), where he took me on a wee walking tour of his area in Amsterdam before people were out, as the sun was rising. As we normally do video chats every few days...

Aw, thanks Kevin! Yeah, it's been a mixed bag for me. Made even trickier because instead of him doing the "Roaming charges" for being able to have wifi/data all the time, he tried getting a local SIM card that isn't working properly for him. So all I get is a few minutes a couple of times a day...

Yeah, compersion is still a WiP for me :) But I do actively find reasons to feel it, like these two really deserving a holiday together after a decade together, nine of those years under his ex-wife's thumb. I'm envious that they are going to those places for sure. He has assured me that we...