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I apologize for the harshness of this, but from everything you're writing (especially the above), it doesn't sound like they are treating you like a person. They are treating you like an accessory. I think you should walk. Because they have a very narrow box they want you to fit in, a hidden...

Based on what you've said, I agree with GalaGirl, in that it sounds like a full break-up with him for a while might be good. It sounds like you are questioning a lot of why you feel the things you feel. That can be a really good thing; it can lead to learning how to be a better you. And by a...

I want to make sure that I'm clear on this. You want to work on your possessiveness for you, because it bothers you, or because you want to have a relationship with this particular man, and the only way to do it is for you to be poly? Or both? If he was fine with your possessiveness and...

I agree with KC43 that *you* don't have to change how *you* feel about something - unless of course, those feelings genuinely aren't working for the person you want to be. I think you might want to work on applying your definitions or meaning about things/activities to other people. For...

I like pinkpig's suggestion of making a list and working through WHY they upset you. For me, what really worked to feel better was a lot of positive mental re-enforcement. I would think about something that bothered me. I would take note of the physical reaction I'd have, tightened muscles...

I'm not sure how you get to calling someone your girlfriend if you don't hang out. How did she get to be your girlfriend? Also, she gets to know his family and you don't? So they're not openly poly, is that correct? I think the place to start would be to firmly inform your boyfriend that -...

Why does it matter to you what they're doing? Are you concerned about their health or personal safety? Or are you concerned about judging them, not feeling comfortable with them as your partners, once you know what they do? I can tell you that I definitely wasn't comfortable with a few of the...

June might not be a "bad" person, but she's not exactly a "good" person either. Things "good" people don't do (or "Things people don't do, when they're being "good"): - Enter into a relationship that has major aspects that they dislike (if June is really mono, and only putting up with...

It could mean a lot of things. I think it's impossible to know if it REALLY meant "the timing was wrong" (which I agree can be a crap reason, but I also think that's usually an attempt at a "gentle" way to let someone down), or if it meant "this just isn't working out and I want to fade out of...

Whoa, man, that sounds like a really unhealthy dynamic. If you are friends with your metas, and they ask you for advice and/or if relationship woes between your partner and a meta are directly impacting your friendship with the meta, then talking in those cases, yes absolutely. But for you to...

I have a fair number of tattoos. Thus far, none of them have represented a person. But if I did want one that did (and/or a love tattoo) it definitely wouldn't involve a name. Jon and I currently have a couple of ideas for complimentary tattoos that we might want to do, but they're more along...

If this is all true, then there should be no problem. As long as there were an agreed-upon amount of time spend with your son, and an agreed-upon amount of time that the two of you are spending on YOUR relationship, then...what's the problem? Your wife can have a lot freedom for herself, and go...

((((hugs)))) I'm sorry that this has felt so sucky to you. Feeling left out is totally valid. As a PP said, feeling left out, even if they were "just" your friends, could totally be a "normal" feeling for you to have. But the idea that - because you are dating them both - you have any "right"...

I got UTIs a lot when I was younger, any time I had sex with condoms that had spermicidal lube, and then for MONTHS after using a condom with spermicidal lube. Whatever was in that spermicide, it seemed to stick around and make things miserable for me. What worked for me in the end (beyond...

Based on the specific behaviors you mentioned, I'm going to guess you're talking about Borderline. Though I don't think Lora (my ex-metamour) was Borderline (I think she's more likely diagnosed Dependent Personality Disorder, and currently has an actual diagnoses of PTSD and extreme anxiety...

I'd love to hear how it goes! I hope you hit it off nicely and have a wonderful evening! :)

omg, that was wonderful! I love the fifteen babies in top hats.

I definitely wouldn't have said anything at the wedding, unless it was a spontaneous statement, which wouldn't have happened in this situation. It's more of a after-the-fact, if I dislike this behavior so much as to deliberately ensure that it doesn't happen again, then should I have also said...

Here's an interesting thing that happened this weekend. Jon and Lora had exchanged jewelry...I'm not sure when. Sometime after Jon and I started dating, well before Jon and I exchanged jewelry. After the break-up, he continued to wear the jewelry that she'd given him (I have no idea if she...

To add my voice to the others, this sounds like it is a set up that will cause failure. Trying to control how you react to someone and how much you "fall" for them is generally a recipe for disaster. If you read around the forum, you'll find a lot of heartbreaking stories about trying to do just...