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I'm sorry this happened. The veto seems to be super painful. (This does happen with vetoes.) Isn't your partner sorry to see you so unhappy? I think maybe you should do some (couples) counselling, since this situation feels like a trap.

They don't want their profile deleted as spam, that's the only reason they posted this.

Meanwhile, you can build a more open, tolerant and sex-positive atmosphere at home the way you talk about dating with them etc. I know you had trouble talking openly about sex at all at the beginning of your relationship and had problems wrapping your own mind around the concept of polyamory...

Maybe. When I don't feel love for my partner, there's usually two or three things going on 1) some long-standing conflict or neglected need that failed to be communicated or still isn't resolved - there's a fight hanging in the air and it needs to get worse before it gets better; 2) overall...

I dunno. Maybe it's not a NRE effect and you have fallen out of love with him. I remember with my first boyfriend, we've been together for 4+ years. I was young and sometimes I had doubts, but mostly happy and connected. Then he moved further away. Suddenly it felt like too much work to go over...

I'm probably mistaken and it's just several stories from the past month got meshed up in my head. I'm really at a loss what advice to give here. If you are really a lesbian, not bisexual, than it might be kinder in the long run to both you and your husband to divorce, change your...

I think - although I'm having trouble finding the thread - that I'm recognizing the story. Did you both post?

Welcome. You will find this forum leans heavily against unicorn hunting and couple-dating in general. There are several examples of happy long-term polyamorous relationships among the regulars that have made it way past sex-focused "dating", but it's usually a 'V' or a more complicated network...

Will they be seeing Kaitlyn on any occasions?

That's always a good idea. If you do want to do some steps until then, find local non-monogamous communities, or clubs, or friends who have done it, and just talk to people about their experience. Or read the book Magdlyn recommends first :)

Hello, we are a forum specialized in polyamory, which means multiple loving relationships. The arrangement you are describing is closer to swinging than polyamory (although "falling in love" can and does happen unintentionally), you will probably do better on more general ethical non-monogamy...

Good takeaway. I think you could hold your wish/ideal lightly (with the understanding you might end up with another configuration) and start exploring, just making new intimate friends and see if that's satisfying. Just read a few of horror stories about NRE on this forum beforehand to realize...

Also, probably you could test the water first with some questions and see if they know what polyamory is at all, and explain and let it sit in their head a little before revealing that this is your situation.

Yes, that's probably the way to go. Explain, then introduce. I was also thinking of the possibility that they could see her first as someone neutral, like Emma's running partner, and then you explain 🤔

You don't write about your wife's reaction to your proposal. I think that is the most important at this point, and also the biggest challenge to honesty right now - because you have a very clear idea what you want, it may be a challenge for your wife to tell you she might prefer a different...

You should probably point out the age difference, as it surely doesn't help :( I know it's in your signature, but not in the post, that Kaitlyn is much closer to the age of your son than to yours. I would not know how to approach this situation either... :( Something that comes to mind, it's...

I think the "different set of assumptions" viewpoint gives you the best chance to repair your relationship, because it is blame free. Drop the shoulds and the big ethical framework questions and focus on your personal experiences and the present situation, otherwise you will be easily caught in...

Totally true. Also true :( In this case, we don't know about children, and we actually don't hear much about her attitude and potential hinge abilities - if she has withdrawn, or if she is still able to show love to her partner in ways that matter. We do hear she hasn't admitted her actions...

I heard the podcast episode after writing my comment, and it's an excellent one, thanks for sharing. I do understand what you are describing (at least to some extent, haven't lived through it). In the present case, I think there's way more ambiguity. What was hidden were a few weeks of...

Maybe this is an answer to one of the original questions: whether asking her to dump dude is controlling or not. DEPENDS. Is it coming from a deep need, deep enough to become a deal breaker? Like really can't feel safe around this person, so if he's around, I can't be around? Than it's a...