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I'd hate being in their shoes and having to make such a decision - to move out from one partner to be closer to others :( I hope they are moving for other reasons (such as school or career) as well.

I hope you're getting great therapy. There's an overwhelming wealth of online resources, so sorry for recommending a video, but I was kinda reminded of it. I don't know if it actually suits you, but I find it shows great real-life examples on how people learn to recognize red flags.

TWO disrespectful man at once, that's a lot! If someone tells me they are not happy with the situation, I don't go touching their genitalia! You sure "got to know him", and never more! Your fiancee has shown himself in a very bad light. I'm never quick on the "break up" advice, so I won't say...

How long has your LDR triad been going on? Magdlyn is sharing important material, which might however be unnecessarily discouraging. You're obviously already doing a triad, and by the kind of concerns you voice, also a pretty successful one so far. I think it's nice and enriching to have a...

Well, negotiate that. Maybe it can't be a whole day, if the three of you only see each other every now and then. But maybe you can squeeze in an hour or three of couple time to talk or sex or go somewhere bf doesn't care about. Or maybe you go out of your way and travel to see them for once...

I think it's ok to ask some alone time with ldr partner. Don't make it about "being in the way" or anything. Just stay along the lines of "Since I have a lot of presceduled time and can't see you/them as often, and almost never without bf, I miss some one on one time. Would it be ok for us to...

Dear all, this blog has now been going for ten years, starting March 2016. I will be wrapping it up and making a new intro very soon. It's time for a new chapter. In the past ten years I've established myself in a non-monogamous "V" with all other partners being fairly secondary - and I see...

That sounds great! I understand the sadness, but you're definitely making a step forward. Just make sure to get as clear about those expectations with E as you did with L right now, and keep those discussions going on every now and then. Preferences will change. ________ I know some polyamory...

If you're in for negative feedback, tell us about your reasons you want to be monogamous, and the forms of non-monogamous arrangemets you envision for yourself. Some of them will most likely be problematic ;)

Hi there, sounds all great and happy to hear a positive mono-poly experience for once! Pity that we are an ocean apart :)

It's just one of the many, many things people can disagree on. I'm more of the mindset "shared flat, shared space, shared decision". I imagine both partners should have some say in how every room looks and is used (e.g. I want my partner to keep room for me to sit down on the sofa in "his" room...

Good luck to you :) Be a little careful about that "definitely" here for two reasons: - you can't be yet sure your gf isn't a fan of short-term, it could be part of her exploration - even if you hope for long-term, some or many of your attempts to get to know someone might end up being brief...

I didn't mean to question you. :) I just wasn't clear from your writing that you felt strongly about being polyamorous. If it's an activist thing for you like that, that might shift your approach much more towards being "out," despite the risks. Many people do learn they are capable of poly...

Hey! Don't worry, some people will manage long reading. If you are still on the edit window, would you mind - editing initials to nicknames - adding more paragraphs for easier reading on mobile phones especially? As per the content, you'll be surprised, but I think you're fine! Let me...

Please don't overthink the explanations she gave you. They sound like rationalizations. You probably couldn't have done anything to change her decision, it was a question of time.

Your situation is unfortunately not uncommon. We call couples looking for "a third" unicorn hunters and they get quite a bit of flack over here. Many of them declare loudly how they want to make their third an equal relationship partner, then fail silently due to habits and biases - that's...

You're two months into this new relationship. I think the biggest exclamation mark is now NRE idealisation. Everything is going splendidly, and that's great! Except after two months you can't really know :) So IMHO just be careful. Don't jump to conclusions. Don't assume you know what he meant...

Well, what does that phrase mean to him? Did you already explore that?

Riiiight, have you told either of them you're not cool with this, or are you bottling everything up?

You posted this other thread less than two months ago, where the conclusion was no, not poly at this time. https://polyamory.com/threads/my-girlfriend-wants-to-open-our-relationship-up-and-i-dont.159551/ So she didn't agree after all? She's going ahead starting something with this friend and...