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    New, want to learn more

    I still think it's better to talk about these desires right away. As Magdlyn says, they will need their own time to process and come to a decision. You might want to at least test the waters with some hypothetical questions. It's commonly recommended that couples read "Opening up" or another...
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    New, want to learn more

    What? You should tell your prospective partners before you even kiss them. They have the right to make informed decisions about dating you.
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    Is my partner abusive?

    Hello, I don't think you did anything wrong. I think your agreement about asking every step of the way is not working. Being "primary" is one thing - you can agree to give each other and family duties some priority. But having veto power over every detail is another thing. I refrain from terms...
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    Am I overreacting, or is my poly partner an [...]?

    Well, actually you might want to know that to make informed health decisions.
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    Am I overreacting, or is my poly partner an [...]?

    Yeah. Frankly, I do think you are somewhat overreacting to the oversharing itself. It's just a number. You haven't discussed it before. I don't see how chatting to her would help you repair trust with him. But also, you haven't gotten a single "I will be more careful next time". He's...
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    Am I overreacting, or is my poly partner an [...]?

    Trouble is, you're having great sex but haven't had much time to really get to know this man. So you have very little data to base your decision on. A lot of people are having growing pains around sharing, but his lack of reflection definitely sounds like a red flag. There's another one: His...
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    New to forum, old to poly, needing desperate help figuring out my sh1t

    Then you should talk to her upfront about wanting to elevate your newer relationship to co-primary (although, after 6 months, it's a little early), if that's what you want to do. She might have some grieving to do. Then set firmer boundaries about allocating YOUR time. It's a bit mean, but they...
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    New to forum, old to poly, needing desperate help figuring out my sh1t

    What were your agreements with you "old" partner regarding the other relationships? Did you ever talk about the possibility of someone rising to co-primary status? Did she accept your other relationships under the condition that they remain less important and entangled? Now that someone wants to...
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    How to know if im poly (completely new)

    Magdlyn has written about her poly experience in every other thread on the forum since forever, and sometimes about her marriage too. Please read around.
  10. T

    How to know if im poly (completely new)

    That, plus, "would I be ok with my girlfriend loving another person I don't date myself?"
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    New, want to learn more

    Plus, usually or often, the arms of the "V" date other people too, forming larger networks we jokingly call "polycules" ;) Dating can have different intensity. Polyamory usually refers to non-hierarchical arrangements, where it's possible for the newer partner to become as old as the old...
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    New here, confused, conflicted, scared

    Just read around, this is discussed a lot. Also, you can start your own thread - either in the Poly relationship corner for maximum feedback or in the Life stories and blogs section for continuity. Some people argue that poly is a "choice", not an "orientation". IMHO very few people really...
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    Poly While Dealing With Trauma and Loss of a Parent

    I'm so sorry all this is happening to you :( You are in control of whether you will continue your romance with Quinn at this time or ever. You are not in control whether Andrew will continue seeing Quinn. You can ask him not to, but ultimately, it's his decision to make. You are not in...
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    Poly While Dealing With Trauma and Loss of a Parent

    I ask to clarify. Your partners are two people you love and who presumably want to help. If you could ask anything, what is it you need from Andrew? What is it you need from Quin? What is it you need in general?
  15. T

    From 0-100 in 3 weeks

    I think they are currently "poly with this partner", I wonder if there are agreements about new partners already.
  16. T

    From 0-100 in 3 weeks

    I think that's out of your control. Maybe out of hers :) Best not worry about it much. Assume she's doing the best she can.
  17. T

    From 0-100 in 3 weeks

    Is there a question at this point, or just "everything is work in progress"?
  18. T

    Poly and Pregnant - issue solved. Thank you to everyone who commented!

    I do believe our noses have intuition. [Still, check if it isn't a hair product or something making you sick, problem solved easier than expected 😅] On the one hand, I don't like you ditching them because life gets tough, and I don't like making that decision on the span of weeks under pregnancy...
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    Poly and Pregnant - issue solved. Thank you to everyone who commented!

    I don't think relationships have a "pause" button, not serious ones. Be honest with yourself that if you propose a pause, it's likely a break-up. They will have to arrange their life differently. Do you really need to push them away all the way? Isn't there room for change of parameters? Like...
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    Ex gf

    Wow, what a weird development. Wish you quick healing :/ I'd be interested why you wanted to be a couples' girlfriend/unicorn (as that seemed to be the setup), but I don't think the very moment of a breakup is a great time to have that conversation. Maybe later if you want to tell us :) Take...
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