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I see life partners partners as extended family. Some extended family I'd drop everything for, others I'd send a card, some get nothing. It depends on my relationship with them. In this way I'm very RA. Nobody gets special treatment because of relation. It's all about my relationship with that...

But this is a BIG thing. It's like one person wanting kids and the other not, or one is very religious and the other is an atheist. It's big. It's not like you prefer blue in the bedroom and you partner wants green, so you compromise on purple.

OP, note that most of those are where partners date separately, not as a couple, or in a triad or quad, which are poly on hard mode. Do try dating on your own.

I want to add that agreements can change frequently in the beginning. The key is to talk about them and change them together. Nothing is set in stone and things will change as you go along.

It sounds like you've been assuming how it would be, which means you didn't actually talk about it. Sit down. Tell her what you thought it would be. Let her say what she thought it would be and if that changed since she met someone. Get on the same page and make agreements that BOTH of you can...

This entire paragraph makes me feel uneasy for you. Red flags 1. You are opening up for a specific person. Are you okay that your partner developed feelings for someone instead of honoring his vows to be monogamous to you? Cheating breaks trust and you have to trust your partner fully in...

Usually a hall pass is a one time hookup. All of this proves your relationship is built on lies. Without trust you don't have a relationship. Love is not enough. He has shown you who he is and how he is going to treat you. Believe him! There's so much more wrong with your story but the...

First you have to define soul mate.

I'm finding myself shocked that it was believed that someone only 3 months pregnant was getting away with saying she was 7 months along. I mean, it can be rare, but most 7-months pregnant women LOOK obviously pregnant. I'm also wondering if it all was a manipulation to get Tree to not use any...

Yes it's common. You are experiencing a change from what's normal in your relationship. Your central nervous system is in fight or flight, trying to get you to react. What sucks is how your body feels and that it takes your mind down a black hole with it. My recommendation, do not try to fight...

Your thoughts are causing your feelings. You don't need coping strategies; you need to change what you are thinking that's FACTUAL instead of fantasy. Stop thinking things that aren't facts. Have you met this person? Sometimes, simply meeting a person can help you stop putting them on a perfect...

Poly meetups are not the same a swinging play parties. So YES, go and meet people, talk, ask questions. Let them know you are learning about poly as an option for you and your wife, that you want to learn more before jumping in. Just don't hit on anyone. That's what they mean by not a meat...

So much left out. How did this triad start? You call her your girlfriend but have only kissed three times? None of what you described is anything close to girlfriend label. They are married, so she has sex with HER husband, as she has a right to. She doesn't have sex with you because you aren't...

I'm NOT in this situation. Knowing that, I think it's up to the dynamic of the three of you involved in your relationship...what does each of you want/need? If it were me, I'd prefer each having their own private space. We would NEVER all sleep together. I'd be open to half of the nights with...

Yeah, I would stop having any interaction or contact with your meta (your partner's partner) at all. Let your partner deal with that and you stay away from it.

I'm not sure what's unnatural about it. In my entire life I've never stayed the night the first time I had sex with anyone. The interesting part, when I think about it from your perspective, is that neither I or the person I was with considered another option. I would have if they'd asked me to...

I totally relate to this. People are shocked when I say sex never lasts less than 2 hours....even the rare "quickie" is an hour for me. PIV, if it happens, takes up maybe 15-20 minutes (total) intermittently throughout the time. For me, foreplay starts when I wake up with flirting texts when we...

There's so much to this, and everyone is doing such a great job, I don't really have much to add. I will say that you are in a REALLY tough spot, both in life and what you are looking for. I think both of you getting into therapy and working on yourselves is paramount. But not having time or...

That's the only one I have that's about working on your self talk/self esteem. It's feminist leaning, but works for everyone. Relationship-wise, I like the blogs, Making Polyamory Work and Multiamory.

I'm sorry you took it that way. And no, it's not as easy as "just go be confident." That is almost impossible without the tools. That's why I recommended the podcast. She puts a twist on "having happy thoughts," because she knows that's bullshit and undoable, by giving baby steps that do...