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I know what I want and what I don't want. That won't change because of a partner. If I have no stance on it then I'll be flexible to their needs. If I have a stance on it then no, I won't do it. Ex: my partner wants to move to another state. I currently have the best health coverage I can get...

That is called switch tracking when someone tries to change the subject to derail the original conversation. A good way to navigate is to acknowledge they have a topic they would like to discuss and you'll address their topic after your topic is resolved. A good reply is "please stick to the...

Of course! I was trying to think of common things I see people doing who come here for advice. I wouldn't have a partner that doesn't respect me, my partners or my relationships. I'm amazed at how people put up with bad behavior because they FEEL certain feelings for a person

It's still early. Let them know that as a relationship partner this isn't working for you. See if you can de-escalate back to friends. You might need to take time apart to get back to the friends spot. Don't place blame, just say it's not working the way you'd hoped, but the friendship is very...

Good to know and I'm sure I'd be told if I ever chose to get legally married....which I won't. I don't need peace of mind from marriage. I believe and trust my partners commitment to me without a legal document enforcing it. I have certain legal documents as well to cover needed things. Things...

Anything that negatively impacts my relationship with LP. I wouldn't know it until it happened. It could be time, which is least likely in my case, as I have lots of time. But he doesn't, so if both partners were only available on the same days, I wouldn't take days away from LP for a new...

Yes, that distinction was key, and that's why I'm poly. However, I WANT to be able to explore that. I hated that I couldn't in monogamy. But my want will not supersede the importance of my life partnership. Hence it's not a need.

Other options that have been helpful with partners: Talk while taking a walk. The left right (bilateral stimulation) of walking helps process feelings faster, and you aren't looking at each other, which helps keep the focus on the topic rather than the feelings coming up, which can be seen on...

I too fit with Connor's ideology. I would say Brittany is Relationship Anarchist. It's a bit too extreme for me. I know relationships will change, and most don't last forever, but I would hate KNOWING that my partner WILL move on without a second thought, as opposed to it being possible that it...

This is why I fully support prenups. It's not about whether your partner loves you or not (the thought that's pervasive among many asked to sign one) it's about you deciding how the disillusion happens instead of the courts. I wish more people would consult an attorney before signing a marriage...

This is life though. Simply put, a new lover is change. All change has an effect on a relationship that you cannot foresee. A move to a new area, a new job, having a child (each one), family member dying. It really isn't the romantic aspect that is the problem, it's the change. Monogamous people...

This is monogamy programming. Nowhere did anyone say marriage takes away autonomy. Society has programmed us to believe that there are certain expectations or assumptions in monogamy and a loss of autonomy is one of them. In polyamory open communication about everything is essential. Nothing is...

This was meet to be a generalization of how certain individuals can think. Everyone has their own thoughts of what constitutes low or high quality. What's one person's yuk is another's yum. Everyone is attractive to someone. And some people generally Accepted as beautiful might be unattractive...

Dates? No. It's easy for women to find dates...low quality dates but if a woman has no standards she can get a date quickly. (Discussed earlier) Men however don't have a plethora of low quality women vying for their attention who will date them at the drop of a hat. Interesting note. Based on...

It is my view, all of it...almost shocking to read how I see it so clearly in someone else's words. Only thing I could add is it also depends on the situation. Some I trust with my life, others not so much. Some I trust with money, others nope. So yes, context is everything. Hell, in most...

Dates are as individual as the two people on them. someone's yum is somebody else's yuk. Perfectly "good men" (as seen by their friends) might have a habit or mannerism that turns some women off. There's a lot more that makes a man dateable or not. Just because a man thinks their friends are...

The ability to have multiple, loving, fulfilling, committed relationships with consent of everyone involved.

The RA worksheet breaks down parts of relationships that you want or don't want. The only difference between parts monogamy and other forms is that things are prescribed instead of chosen and negotiated

You are making a HUGE assumption here. To remove this monogamy thinking takes a ton of work. Many don't really care to work on that specific thing (marriage) because it feels good and they still want that. That's why many poly people still get married. Monogamy programming runs too deep. I know...

You really clearly covered all of my thoughts as well...so much it's not worth me giving my view because it's like you wrote it for me