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Well, what does drive you? What does she want to do about her bi tendencies? Where is the motivation to... open... really coming from? Are you trying to solve her problem for her, or solve something that isn't a problem at all? Are you actually feeling fearful about your partners capacity to...

Um, right. I missed the "as long as I'm involved with L" part, and thought the breakup was conditional on being closeted, but maybe it's final. Xatu, can you clarify your current status with E? Did you talk about if he would or would not date you if you could be out? Even if so, did you talk...

Exactly my point. If you're going to let yourself be seen as polyamorous (or in a new relationship), talk to L about his preference being public with you or not :) His options are still going to be limited by continuing a poly relationship with you, but less limited than if people assume...

You can't make poly work if your insecure partner can veto every date. From a practical point of view, maybe a schedule could help both people? Like reserve one specific date evening, and another spare one if plans fall through, otherwise used for your personal friends and stuff, so you going...

I'm sorry, I should not have assumed that on a poly board. I understand the intricacies of old vs. new. But your description of moving out because of the new partner somehow made me feel this is the case. I was not suggesting you cut L off entirely, just that your public image could be in line...

Actually, I think you don't take full responsibility yet. Your responsibility is to make a decision. You've been back and forth with both partners, especially with E. I think it would actually really simplify things to make it known that you are no longer a partner of L (dating E or not)...

Oh no. Yes, I've been through this kind of "way too much, way too early" NRE. It destroyed my monogamous relationship and I've been dating Idealist ever since. I've had quite intense feelings for some other men too - they didn't uproot my life, but were certainly strong enough to destroy my...

Your therapist will tell you, this is HER professional etics to hold.

I think you've been linked "so someone called you a unicorn hunter", and you said you read only the last paragraph. You should make time for it, it does name some more reasons (possibly still not all of them). There ARE successful triads, but most of them grow organically - out of one partner...

I don't think it's a definition, but unfortunately it's just a common pattern. The couple will never say it's like that, they will say they want to "add a third" who will be "equal". Form a closed triad. Than couple privilege - given partly by their "agreements", by their shared history, by...

What's the swinging community's definition of "unicorn"?

Decide the conditions you need to be able to date freely and insist on those no matter what. Like no, you are not cancelling dates, and no, you are not asking permission to schedule one. You can give him reassurance, you tell him as soon as your date is scheduled so that he isn't surprised next...

Ask how SHE wants you to deal with similar situations in the future. That way you're not disrespecting any agreements. If you feel like you would be adding too much to her load, it might be indeed be considerate to skip new connections. However, try as you may, you're not gonna always guess...

Well, what exactly was the agreement? You say "I am allowed to do that" (although it was bad timing). Apologize, ask if there is something you can do to make it right for her or just help her feel a better and ask to clarify/renegotiate agreements for next time.

I'm confused, did you already tell your partner, or not? And what's going on with the other girl, was that it or is it a budding relationship?

If you are on the edge about breaking up, I'm not sure it's a great idea to talk to the other woman who loves him and decided to stay. She's not going through the same process as you here. Her natural tendency would be to downplay the issues. Talk to a therapist, an impartial friend who will be...

@Rosalindsbaby No matter the outcome, you are being very brave.

I read so many question marks in the comments, but this sound like a no-drama conversation that settled all the practicalities. She's not going, ok, we celebrate Easter as usual. I personally would certainly ask what happened to the trip, out of a concern for the well-being of my partner. But...

I get that "monosexual" is a valid opposite to "bisexual", and then "polysexual" kinda also makes sense in a world that recognises more than two gendres. Could be more general than "bisexual" but less general than "pansexual", if that's a kind of thing, like maybe someone is attracted to female...

Oh, that's surprising. Must be the majority usage by the LGBTQ community. I guess we might have developed a slang on this forum, or maybe in the poly/ENM community at large. We kinda need "monosexual" and "polysexual" to mirror "monoamorous" and "polyamorous", since monogamous/ polyamorous...