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If it's hard to even set up a meeting, I think it's ok to write. You could tell them you're breaking up via message and offer one more meeting on neutral ground later if they really need to hear your reasons. (Refuse to discuss over text.)

Is that your case? Do you ensure your structure stays what it is by picking people who already have a primary? [Totally legitimate, of course.]

I'm fine with that ambiguity and leave room for people to define their own criteria of success ;)

If your outside relationships can't become coprimary in terms of commitment, if you don't offer moving in part time, having a family, everyone having the same say about the living situation and other big decisions, that's a form of hierarchy, and a very painful one for a relationship where love...

Actually, I'm not assuming he went on a date... I was, however, assuming 1. he might, 2. that his wife's request to skip the detail may have come from a place of jealousy if he did. The second needn't be true, of course, and it doesn't matter much. I was just offering one way to communicate...

I actually get an almost RA wibe from your descriptions, so I'm surprised you'd name any hierarchy. It shows how "hierarchical" and "practical" sometimes blend into each other.

Yeah, sure. It's a process, it's totally ok to try one end of the scale and see how it fits. With details though, there is also always a concern for privacy of the third person/ prospective partner - the original couple may be comfortable sharing more than they would like their "metamour" to...

You'll work that out. :) Personally, I would not be happy without an overall picture - not a play by play, but I like to hear and tell as much as "I met such and such, we had tea, were/weren't intimate, the mood was great/we had a fight, and now I'm feeling ___". That's kind of enough not...

You should probably tell your wife that due to this misunderstanding you're past the boundaries of your consent and tolerance and something needs to change immediatelly. From there you can go two ways: 1) ask her, if she's willing to stop seeing this man and go back to monogamy before it's too...

@Ariakas Cool, there is someone:) Maybe that's too hypothetical, but if you weren't vetoed and instead your relationship with GF kept deepening after the first bout of NRE, would you be eventually open to the schedule (perhaps if her schedule had to change) or entertain the idea of coprimary?

Hi there, I've been wondering more and more about hierarchy lately. [I'm considering whether we should label our relationship as such, but I don't want that to be the focus of this thread - I think I may put more personal details in my blog sometime in the foreseeable future.] I do mean the...

As far as I understand, it was the only consent violation/accident you had, and it wasn't exactly in a DS scene or context. Would it help to remember the long history where he DID respect your agreements? Are there other reasons for mistrust? We can also take the kink talk to pm if you'd like...

I just want to comment that it seems derogatory to me that two people now have proposed the wife might be a "NRE junkie" - ie someone who jumps from one relationship to another to experience the kick. She's been in a 12 year primary relationship+longterm fwb, that's not jumping and seeking the...

This little report of a big conflict unfortunately resulted in the men not being friends any more. I did go on to have a few sessions in the summer with... let's call him Masked Rigger... , then life kicked in and we weren't able to see each other for over half a year until last week. It seems a...

When I experienced crushes or NRE/limerance (largely unreciprocated by my kink partner), I always had trouble focusing in anything. But I felt alive and had more zest and yes, sex drive. As a result my work suffered more than my partner, who is happy to see me happy. I never kept my feelings...

Poly makes all the cracks in you relationship stand out, and this is already happening now that you've started to discuss it - good. Frankly, you sound hopeless that the sexual connection between the two of you could be revived even if you avoid poly. In that case you may have some hard...

If you hit the "reply" button on someon's post, you get a quote. On a pc it's not hard to devide it into chunks, on a phone it's pain, but can be done.

I think it's quite individual and can go both ways. Sometimes interest in existing partners is lost - either temporarily, worst case permanently if people fall "out of love" - the way it happens in serial monogamy. It's also common NRE revives the overall sexdrive, and it translates into the...

I think someone should close this thread 😅

Shame is your enemy :) Talk and talk and talk.