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Hi SuperDuper, Firstly, a warm welcome to the forums. I'm glad you found us! I'm relatively new here myself but I have found the insight and advice from a lot of the more senior members to be really useful. My first piece of advice for joining the forums is that you won't always get the...

Hi Karen, You're right that it was an attempt at humor. It is of my opinion as well that poly is not a more 'evolved' model of relationshipping than monogamy. Poly does seem to be more difficult though for many people, especially those who have only practiced monogamy for almost their whole...

Hey Cam, Glad to be of help. I think that's what the forum is for. You said you need to do some negotiating on time. I'm not 100% certain what you mean, but I feel that you are referring to the pace at which your wife's new relationship is progressing and that you would be more comfortable...

Heartsong! Your opening post speaks to me. As Al has said, many people come to these forums on a background of a long term relationship that is opening from monogamy to polyamory. It's a difficult transition and only the foolish do not take it slowly. I would be one of the foolish, by the way...

Another example with an older woman, married for 30+ years, 2 years open relationship. The relationship seems to have been opened due to a difference in sexual drive.

Is anyone willing to share their partner's scores? I always thought my partner and I were on the same page and was truly surprised when we scored differently. It was a real eye surprise for me - I would say a turnaround moment in my relationship even. Anyone else have a similar (or different)...

Hi Atlgirlie, You and your boyfriend sound (relatively) young, compared to everyone else who has commented on your thread. My advice, along with all those older than you, is probably to break up. But maybe we're just old and imagining our old selves in your situation, since we wouldn't stand...

Well, a happy birthday to you, Icesong. And as always, thank you for your insight and for sharing. I know you don't do it just for us, but your story has given me a lot of personal growth. Thank you. And happy birthday. Shaya.

Hiya, Karen is saying everything I want to say, and saying it very eloquently. The way Peter displays love as an adult prior to meeting you, is by any definition unhealthy and a psychologist may hazard a guess that it reflects how he learnt to love as a child. Others have mentioned that...

Hi Salt. You can link other threads of yours when you write a new post by pressing the url link icon located next to the options to bold, italicize and underline your text, if you want. Not sure if you've seen that option yet or if you preferred the copy paste method you just used. Your...

I meant acts that society may see as deviating from whatever norm that member of society believes the norm should be.

Loving more than 1 person is an entry requirement for polyamory in my book. It's also got to be consensual. You write very well, BathedInSalt. I very much enjoy reading stories like yours - honest, raw... real. You've made me think about a great many things. To answer your question, I've found...

I think I read the opening poster wrong. Jetlag! With apologies. :)

Love addiction is tricky. It's not a real diagnosis in the sense that most psychologists, and the manual of psychology the DSM V, does not include it, though apparently there was a lot of debate about including it in there. On the one hand, there are people in this world who self-identify or...

Hi Zitta, A warm welcome to the forum. I'm surprised the swingers didn't understand your emotional connection, but glad you now have a word for what you do, and a whole community here. Hope you find the forums useful, or, perhaps you could help others on their journey. Shaya.

Hi Karen. In rereading my own quote, i think it is misleading. My quote was referring to my jealousy and not my relationship. The book morethantwo and other polynormative resources that I happened to be reading at the time cast jealousy in a negative light. Hence my statement, "I'd always seen...

My message is to Elle, whom I'm not sure if the specifics of the last few pages would have been interesting to her as a new member with a specific life crisis. I'd like to extend some empathy to you, Elle. For what it's worth, I thought your opening post was going for humor and i thought you...

Hi Beka, With your years of experience, you're far wiser than many of us here. You have decades of polyamory under your belt while most of us can only boast a fraction of that experience. I don't feel qualified to give advice. I don't understand the title of your thread though. Can you...

Thanks for the kind words. I find myself deeply moved by the concept of polyamory and the forum has been useful for me to grow my thoughts and to make sense of the confusing time I went through. My understanding of jealousy has changed significantly since I first wrote the opening posts thanks...

Hey Cam, If you're "going off your wagon" and saying that's not acceptable to you, that's an attitude I sincerely respect. Having gone off the wagon myself when i tried to bend myself into an emotional pretzel for my wife to have her affair partner, I recommend you not be so harsh on yourself...