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Like Angelina, I feel you've missed the point of what has been said. Sure, we can all ask for what we want, but if I ask for a way to defy gravity and fly under my own power, that doesn't mean I'm going to get it, due to laws of physics. Likewise, there are social expectations and human nature...

Having read plenty on groups strictly for the monos in a poly/mono relationship, I believe that most ARE very hurt by it. Regardless, he's answering Cool Name's initial post, giving what I believe (from 5 years of nearly daily reading here and elsewhere, including on monos in mono/poly...

I'm curious about that, too. Someone asked earlier in the thread what you are looking for. At this point, I have the same question. You said you are confused (and presumably that you want to understand.) It sounds as if you've found an answer: He had the perfect poly situation, he got...

The whole thing made my head hurt. Sounds like two people who both need to step back and think about what they say and why. It sounds like two people who both excel at playing off each other and escalating.

Fair enough if you personally would not have said any of those things. I do wonder if he's heard them from others in the poly world or read them online such that he believed others (or you) would say that of him. Let's face it, many poly people do see any sort of rule or boundary as an issue...

Nobody on the forum knows you, so if that's criteria, then all of our advice is equally valid or invalid. :confused: I have not 'questioned' you in any sense of judgment (as I think you're implying?) but posing a question that is important to ask if you're frustrated with online dating. And if...

Looking at this from another angle: you wanted to be poly. He tried, for a long time, to give you what you wanted, he tried to be okay with it. And you now blame him for trying so hard and for so long to give you what you want and sacrifice himself for your happiness. If he'd said, "I know...

Who brought up non monogamy? Whose choice or first thought was it?

So you have a man who's hitting his wife, knocking her around, and grabbing her by the hair and you're going to continue seeing her behind his back, and seeing his son....and one day the son is going to have clear speech. You're playing with fire. Her priority, if he's hitting her, is to get...

How old is her son? How does he feel about having his parents split up so his mother can move in with a woman he doesn't know? Please realize that he may well regard you as the cause of his family breaking up and you may not have the happy, idyllic family full of love you seem to be imagining...

I agree with Angelina's comments but would also add this: if you are not openly poly, what do you have to offer your potential dates? A life of being the dirty little secret? One of the reasons I broke up with my BF after 2+ years was that he wanted us to live in a bubble, just the two of...

My former boyfriend and his wife have been together for just over 30 years, and open for 20 of those. In all that time, I was his longest relationship, at 2 years and 3 months. His other girlfriends have lasted around 12 to 18 months and he's currently at about 18 months with the next one...

I'm in agreement with CTF. I would say, more strongly, "it's not fair, you're stopping all my fun" is the attitude of a child. As adults we take on responsibilities and sometimes, as adults, we must choose to limit ourselves. That she doesn't, and objects to you having any emotion whatsoever...

High accolades. OP, is this what you aspire to...something that 'doesn't torment you every day?' Or would you hope for more from the central relationship in your life? I truly do not mean to pick on Al, who seems to me like a nice guy dealing with a hard situation...but, OP, is this what you...

I'd be uncomfortable with being declared primary on a first date...but much more with the idea that she is calling the shots from the start, informing me where she has decided I get put. Isn't a relationship supposed to be about two people making decisions?

Then don't. You know starting another relationship is going to hurt her. So don't do it. I'm guessing (based on past experience on forums) that advice not to your liking will be judged as judgment, rudeness, or nastiness. But I think you're looking for a magic pill, some words or system or...

Why should J be vacuuming, cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry for Boundfate? Maybe the husband should be helping to take care of his own home and children. It's called being a grown up.

My understanding is that you're asking if you're wrong to be a little frustrated that Guitarist is not paying much of anything right now, or to expect him to pay his own school loans. I said no, you're not wrong. And you seem to have corrected me that all my assumptions are wrong. So I'm left...

I think you have every reason to be upset with Guitarist. I don't think any adult is entitled to be fully supported--especially for years on end--to pursue their dream. He's had a year or more to work full time at it. This is coming from someone who makes a living in the arts, largely...

In my experience, passive aggressive comments often come from a frustration with not being heard, or being ridiculed, chastised, or shouted down when you do try to speak plainly. Feelings tend to come out one way or another and if one party refuses to let the other speak, those feelings will...