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The above pretty much says it all. You ought to reread that a few times. It appears, and this is a guess, that the ending of the swinging was your idea. But the bigger problem here is that you seem to be compelled to do whatever she says she wants to do and for some reason have basically given...

Gala, Sorry I misunderstood. We technically closed August 1 when he started in his new position and was home every night. I closed everything off and cut all contacts. Since then we little by little have been doing everything better. We have talked a lot and communicated a lot. I understand...

I have read all the posts here and thank you all, especially those that CORRECTLY shot down the nonsense of Hero being bullying and an abusive husband. Nothing could be further from the truth. Throughout this ordeal, he has 95% of the time never raised his voice to me in the slightest. So now...

Well, I guess things were going too smoothly so I had to go screw it up. There was a thread on Valentine's Day and celebrating it. I did not post on it but Hero and I always used to do something special. That is, until I coerced him ( yes I know he agreed but I know the difference and he does...

Exactly. You are not advocating at all for what you want, and caving to anything she wants. This can only decrease your attractiveness to her, NRE or not. I also think that time you schedule together is YOUR time. Bringing someone else in on your time is highly manipulative and disrespectful...

KDT, Yup. Mid Life Crisis. Can I guess be used to cover a lot of territory for both men and women

Well, its been a few months, and this new marriage" thing ain't easy. Since the Holidays have been over, we have done a lot of talking, and I've done a lot of crying. So here we go> The good news is that we are still married and that divorce talk is off the table, or at least not talked about...

LOL Exactly my point. On every post you make you are the ABSOLUTE authority on everything. The rest of the world is just misinformed as per Ravenscroft and anyone not toeing your nonsense is bat shit crazy. I hope youre making a lot of money since you are absolutely correct on everything. but...

Funny, I’d be willing to bet you what Ive read has sold hundreds of thousands more copies that anything you have read or refer to. Sorry I forgot those of you that get offended by anyone challenging your poly bubble society where the rest of the world is crazy. You want to cheer the man on...

I don't want to be her ball and chain.. so i think i have no choice but to agree to poly Sorry Patrick. I guess I will never understand the way some men think. If you're inclined to poly, great!! If not, you do have choices, but you are not obligated to anything that will make you miserable...

Yes, I've had this experience (I was "Gina") but I didn't have the balls (or the idiocy) to ask my husband if we could put him on ice for two months while I devoted my hots to someone else. Looking back, it was clear that my sexual interest had moved from him to another person(s) and it was also...

Juicebox, Again, Gala Girl has eloquently laid it out for you probably better than what you could pay for. I won't be as good but I will make some comments (1) I'd pay particular attention to the fact that she pointed out that your partner is big time in the GRIEVING process. I would be right...

Well, I'll echo what you have been told and you ought to read Gala Girls post to you over and over. So lets recap Its very coincidental that the poly lightning bolt hits you just as you find yourself a possible boyfriend, so there's the first problem. hubby not only gets the discussion dropped...

Remarkable Growth?? Hardly Becky loves her poly life as long as she gets to go have sex with Ben Al does all the work and after a year starts to participate Becky has spat with Ben so shitcans the whole arrangement Al immediately capitulates and tells Betty its over Becky makes up with Ben so...

Well, if you think its going to be dropping a bomb on him , you should do it right away. Isn’t letting him possibly developing strong feelings for you BEFORE telling him you have no intentions of being mono with him a little bit manipulative. ??? If you are corrrect and he is mono, my guess is...

This is well said. I don't think you necessarily need a separate section but I think that not practicing poly or non monogamy any more and reverting back to the process is something that should be talked about. This is NOT a one way street that always lasts a lifetime, and just as opening the...

Valyn. Wouldn't it be a bit too early for your new guy to expect exclusivity after one Christmas party??? You are a divorced adult woman who is dating. not sure that in itself classifies you as poly. Why title yourself. if you continue to "date' the party guy, eventually there may be some...

Claire, Since it appears Castle is not moving to Texas and you did not mention it, I am guessing he has not had the all cards on the table conversation with his wife that you wanted because its not necessary. You may be better off that he didn’t move because how that would have gone down is...

Ed, You are about to probably create a disaster for yourself, not because of your fantasy but because of your expecting to be able to totally control the situation. So lets start with the major mistakes. (1) terrible idea for her to become involved in any way with a co worker sexually. If she...

I hope you read that again. Can't be said much better.