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Without writing a book, I am an married woman in a long term marriage who is about to lose a man who I love more than anything on earth. All my own doing, and I need to know if there are any of you out there who can try to help me navigate this mess i have created. I'll leave out all of the...

Some very good observations here. Sorry you are in this position but your wife is feeding you a load of crap. She is about as polyamorous as the man in the moon. She just "discovered" this, has totally jumped the gun on you, and basically is telling you she could care less about what you think...

Krissy, NYCindie hit on some good points and asked two questions at the end that I believe from what you have posted your answer would be a resounding NO. She asked if you would be OK with him having sex with someone else if you were there and how you would react if he fell in love with...

Krissy I feel as if I need to understand polyamory more to be there for him and to give him what I can in this aspect. I have a million questions and concerns and have no clue what they are yet. We have boundaries we have to figure out and things we have to grow together and of course I...

I'm not sure why it is you who is asking these questions. Like others have said, probably 95% of the male population that is heterosexual will not be deterred at all that your wife is married, and probably most of them will look at that as a positive initially. No strings attached sex with a...

The "messy" list is perfectly stated. This list might be different for different situations, but there certainly are relationships that have a much greater chance of causing major headaches if started for all of us. My husband an I are not in a great place right now, but it has nothing to do...

convince You long term prognosis is not good for your relationship if you do not forget the word highlighted above. if you read any of the literature you will understand that one sided non monogamy where one partner is manipulated or coerced ( convinced) do not usually end too well. And there...

Poly518 You already know the answer to your question by your own experience. This notion that it is equal for men in poly in nonsense and you know it. Even the literature discusses how women usually have much more opportunity for relationships. The number of partners is NOT important. You are...

And there are some member here who think hey have all the answers and immediately try to attack and intimidate anyone who does not agree with them. Just in case you bother getting off your horse ny cindie the man just explained it would have been easy to not understand he was not coerced . But...

You should have been doing all this research and asking questions before you agreed you wanted to try this or were you coerced or talked into it. It does not sound like you have done any real reading or investigsting before encouraging your wife to take the plunge. Whether you decide to be mono...

Tise, You are approaching this in a very mature and intelligent manner. Opening back up your marriage without being on the same page is not likely to cure your problems but make them worse. Most advice I have ever read is that non monogamy is not a cure for marital problems but will bring any...

Love Bunny, Visiting Key West in May. Can you tell me the swingers and/or poly bars and clubs to visit??? Thanks

New Obsession, You are under no obligation to accept what she is proposing based on the way she has gone about it. She has it seems told you what she is going to do and given you a very short window on digesting it. You need to do what is in your heart before you start reading books to help you...

KC, I think you need to set some realistic expectations here for your relationship with S2 AND your husband since in your blog you have had some issues about both relationships. This S2 fellow i believe has told you he is basically monogamous but that he had a bad break up to his marriage or...

Smile I could be wrong. But I wonder if the arrangement she wants is Open for her and Closed for you? The above from Gala Girl seems to sum it up. She wants the open marriage. You come along for the ride. She dates multiple people and you are OK with it. And every time you go out you pay...

Smile Texas, I agree. Wait until OP gets a dose of some good old fashioned NRE with men she can see all the time. i just sometimes cannot believe what I read. No wonder this fails so often. New Obsession, if you want to stay married, you need MC and a LOT of serious discussion. Right now you...

Reading what others have written, this is beyond a trainwreck waiting to happen. She cheated on you starting an emotional affair, then the lightning bolt hit her that she is poly, and wants to have sex with an old boyfriend and you owe it to her because you had an affair and you are getting laid...

Lioness You have every right to be uncomfortable with what was sprung on you. the two of you have a LOT MORE TALKING TO DO. I would be careful in meeting this other man no matter how exciting it is. Don't be surprised if he just wants to get in your pants, and also don't be surprised if that...

Magdlyn I don't know who appointed you to decide who is stupid or not, but as a senior member you should have more manners. I guess you think you have some kind of superior opinion on things but since it is fine for you to insult people because you disagree with their opinion I'll and sure...

Caribou, You have a real problem here for a number of reasons. First and obviously, your wife should have disclosed her sexual proclivities BEFORE you got married. So her not doing that did not really show you a hell of a lot of respect. Guess she figured you'd just accept it or who knows what...