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This is a great point! I'd like to actually change my statement on this a bit. Hypothetical conversations can be very helpful, but I remember some poly-therapists bringing up the idea of "dis-entangling". I was actually in the process of doing this with my ex for non-poly reasons, and I found...

The common punishments I've seen in relationships tend to be things like silent treatment and withholding affection. But it can also lead into genuinely concerning acts of abuse, like name-calling, hitting, or accusing the partner of things they haven't done. I think you put it pretty well tbh...

Open relationships are definitely a very common thing I've seen, and engaged in. Thinking about it now, I'd actually love to get to know a little more about the guys in my area who've experienced being in poly relationships. There's a few poly peeps, and all of them are prominent members in the...

Hmm, I see your points. It's kind of funny, the more I read what you write, the more I wonder where we actually clash, if anywhere, with the current topics being discussed. A part of my initial strong feelings of opposition were mainly from your statements saying "someone's got a hair trigger"...

I don’t like this argument. If Pride was only for people who had a childhood exactly like mine, then it would be a celebration of one. A beautiful part about the queer experience is there is a higher likelihood of solidarity with others. Some shared understanding of what it’s like to be treated...

I wish I was around when this discussion was happening. 😩 After thinking about it, I fully believe that polyamory is, in our current day & age, queer, and part of the LGBT+ umbrella. The fact that many poly people have straight privilege is a very flimsy argument when put under any sort of...

Hello! I wanted to introduce myself, since I've been pretty active on here the past few days. I'm a 26 year old gay man living in the US Midwest. I consider myself a pretty progressive fella, and have getting a lot of enjoyment and benefit out of reading other's stories on here. Not currently...

Funnily enough, I agree that we're likely very much on the similar pages regarding poly-bombing. I think it's shitty to not hold partner's accountable for managing their NRE. It's not just polyamorous people who neglect other relationships for the sake of a shiny new romantic relationship, and...

I’m rooting for you, Kynde! I think it’s very valid to be frustrated with Sid not correcting them. Why the hell hasn’t he done that yet? I can’t even see what he has to lose by correcting them. The only think I can think of is that he’s been shut down before by trying to correct them, so he’s...

Yeah, you never said that they "didn't contribute anything of substance." What you did do was systematically shoot down every single point of theirs with dismissals and questioning besides a single part of it. I'm not surprised they came to that conclusion. Last part of this post is certainly a...

I wonder if it'd be useful to also acknowledge some strengths about having a partner with ADHD in a poly relationship. You've done a great job acknowledging the common costs, but only talking about overcoming burdens might lead the average person to think that having a partner with ADHD is a...

Interesting points! It makes me wonder if the term "poly under duress" is more common due to the fact that most of us live in areas where monogamy is the default, and practically only option. I've found most examples of "duress" being a possibility is when significant relationship dynamic shifts...

Honestly, I’ve seen enough strange, genuine people in the world that I 100% believe this wasn’t a troll. I can’t help feel for the guy as being publicly ridiculed can feel pretty intensely awful. Especially for something you’ve been involved in for 6 years. On the other hand, I’m relieved he...

She wouldn’t be the reason that your marriage ends. From what you’ve written, there is a lot resting on your husband. It seems like your husband is taking you for granted. And while that’s easy to do in such a long marriage, it’s still not right. You don’t deserve to be treated like you’re...

The deadbeat part stood out to me. Do you consider yourself a deadbeat currently?

Yeah, I enjoy the space for self-reflection that come with astrology and other forms of non-specific spirituality like tarot cards and spiritual readings. But I also bristle at the unabashed snap judgements that too often come with them. It often feels like it's a fun light-hearted thing until...

For poly under duress, practical examples I can think of are: - The person initially interested in poly has already formed romantic/sexual relationships outside of their monogamous relationship. Basically, they're more informing their partner of the current situation, and it's now on the...

It definitely gets quite complex when we bring in different power dynamics. This is where I really appreciate the concept of "intersectionality", where multiple identities and situations can influence one another. I think "poly under duress" inherently means that one or both people are not...

You’ve made me reflect more on what it means to enthusiastically consent, and have persuaded me! I think you make a lot of salient points. It makes me wonder if enthusiastic consent was initially transferred from how it’s used in sex, and I’m realizing how little it makes sense in this context...

I’m getting major bad vibes from the husband, mainly from a few things: - I think your gut instinct is right, it was gross to try to covertly implement himself as a guard/safekeeper of his girlfriend’s emotions. Even with the best intentions (and it’s doubtful that they are), it still robs...