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I do let him know... Hence the "we're working on it and things are changing," part of my last reply.

As I was responding to TomSmith's post specifically, I went into a little deeper of the past. Things have definitely moved in a better direction, even when I wrote that. As I said in an earlier post, the phone thing is also somewhat by my fault, as I simply do not feel comfortable talking on...

To be fair, he is not longer TELLING me that I can't answer the phone. I simply do not feel comfortable enough to answer it, when he's sitting there listening to every word that I say. I had a previous boyfriend that would do the same thing, and eventually started hitting me because he would...

First of all, thank you for responded! It’s a long and well thought out post. At this point, I haven’t been doing anything. I have gone on two “dates” in the past four months with one ‘paramour,’ and both I gave Writer several days notice. One was coffee for about an hour and a half, the...

We’ve actually talked about seeing a couple’s counselor several times, but we’ve been having trouble finding one that’s poly-educated in NYC. Maybe we’re just looking in the wrong places? Writer has also expressed anxiety about seeing a therapist, because he’s afraid that a therapist will “try...

Thank you for all of the responses!!! I think I'm going to put together a "short list" of the terms that I think are the most relevant, print it out, and sit down to talk about it with him. The links were very helpful, as was all of your advice!

I'm a little worried that I will be thrown to the wolves for asking this, but... Are there hard and fast definitions for all of the different types of polyamory? My boyfriend has asked me to explain things to him, and what I would call the type of relationship I am hoping to have. Both he and...

Wow, I didn't realize that there were so many responses to this thread. Things have changed a bit since I originally posted, and Writer and I are working on finding more of a balance. When I first mentioned polyamory, he had told me that he was okay with me identifying as polyamorous, but...

Update It's been a few days, and I wanted to update on the situation, since I've gotten such incredibly good advice here, from so many different perspectives. It's really helped me to feel empowered and to become more sure of what I wanted/needed to do to move forward. A few days ago...

That's what I'm thinking. But it seems to be hard for Writer to understand that it WILL be a slow, natural pace and not ALL SEX ALL THE TIME! immediately.

Thank you so much for your response! It's really helpful to hear about your story with Jon and how things worked for you while he was working on things with Lora. That's exactly the sort of thing I was hoping to find at this forum. I think the biggest thing that I've taken away from this...

I would agree with you if my desire to have romantic relationships with my current interests had occurred when I was depressed. But before I told the Writer about polyamory, I was actually quite happy. I was seeing my friends about once a week, usually spending a whole day with them. I was...

I'm so happy to read this story. It actually made me tear up about the thought of being that happy in such a series of relationships. It must feel incredible to be so surrounded with such love and support. =D Congratulations!

I swear I'm going to figure the reply-to-thread thing eventually... First of all, thank you for providing an alternative point of view. I find it really helpful to look at a situation from different sides. Introvert actually did describe him really well… when we first met. He did have...

They are currently platonic friendships that I hope would become romantic partners. I'm feeling very confused now, to have people telling me that my feelings are not polyamorous. I've found that, when I feel this deep kind of deep connection, I tend to give myself completely. I want our...

I don't think my neglecting of friendships was intentional for that first year, but rather a result of some serious new relationship energy, and just of living in New York City in general. To see each other would sometimes take 1-2 hours of traveling on a train, so it just ate up a lot of my...

I’m glad that you see some hope for us, as that seems to be in short supply. Your situation seems pretty similar to mine, although I am really hoping Writer and I can work through some changes and find our way forward together. Since he told me about the co-dependency suspicions, I’ve been...

Galagirl, Thank you so much for this amazing response. I think I wasn't clear about a few things, and I've added an amendment to my original post. I'm still trying to figure out the forum thing, so I'm not sure how to respond directly to you (I might be doing that now?)

Perhaps I misspoke when I said that I thought polyamory could help. I only meant that, becoming more comfortable with his own independence and communicating and being more honest about his feelings would help him to over-come some of the uneasy feelings he has regarding co-dependency. Also...

The Writer and I have been struggling with the concept of polyamory since I first brought it up to him in September. However, since then, some serious issues seem to have compounded for him. The Writer is a self-described introvert, and since we started dating, has had very little contact with...