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    everything's broken

    Whoa, that sounds intense and I'm sorry to hear that things are so unbelievable for you right now. That's so sad to hear. =( Sounds like your husband is ignoring the fact that you have a deep, loving relationship with your girlfriend on top of the one you have for him, and he's forcing you to...
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    Needy people

    I am completely in agreement with this. I often wonder how needy I come off as to my partners and friends, and how obsessive I might appear when dealing with people. I have chronic anxiety that is triggered the most when a person I care for is giving me the cold shoulder or not being...
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    Exploring Poly? Or Being Yourself?

    Ahh, yeah, I guess the previous message left it a bit more vague to me. Obviously if things aren't working, or you're not compatible enough to see it through, then yeah....walk away for your own good. I've had to walk away from friendships due to drama and too much butting of heads and growing...
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    Exploring Poly? Or Being Yourself?

    I always have wondered about this concept. Granted, I get what you mean and agree with it to an extent....but how do you know when to walk away from something you want and love in the hopes of finding something better? (rhetorical question, since it's different for everyone, I know) It's just...
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    Thoughts on being his secret?

    Admittedly, I am sensitive to my own issue...so reacting defensively was bound to happen. (I also have wicked anxiety that makes it nigh-impossible to not dwell on things.....I can't tell you how many edit and re-edits I made to my last post before I had to give myself the proverbial slap across...
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    Thoughts on being his secret?

    So let me get this straight, based on what I'm seeing here - I get close to a guy I care significantly about who is married, we back off before anything hot and heavy goes down and leads to regret and irrevocable damage in favor of trying to figure the situation out and not make any more...
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    Thoughts on being his secret?

    It's funny you should refer to it as that. I've often heard polyamory as a whole be described as just a "legit affair" from mono-oriented people.
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    Thoughts on being his secret?

    No, I thank you for your candidness. It's all stuff I'd pretty much considered and have been trying to work my way through. I realize that I might be on the losing side of things and of course I might get hurt. I'm not so naive to believe everything could come up roses. But I also know I've...
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    Thoughts on being his secret?

    Christ, did I ever say I thought this was "puppies and rainbows" or whatever the hell you took the small snippet of my story as? No, I didn't. I said that I have an issue that I was hoping to get feedback about because it is actually bothering me. Being immediately told that I'm "kidding myself"...
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    Thoughts on being his secret?

    I guess I walked into that one...... There is a lot more to my situation (and I lot less than you probably think as well), but I guess it makes no difference. Sorry to ask.
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    Thoughts on being his secret?

    I have to ask how this was broached. Were you mono before and after you two talked and rebuilt trust, did you see things differently and see poly differently overall? I kind of have been through what Tigger is describing myself, and fairly recently. I was the secret and he is married. We didn't...
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    A very nervous hello

    No, I have a very good idea of what poly is. Like I said, I've done my research. Like I said, I'm just kind of testing the waters here and trying to figure out what works right for me. I honestly don't think the idea that I may or may not be sexually reserved even factors into what people would...
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    A very nervous hello

    *I* didn't say I did want to date all my male friends at all. I was saying that I'm afraid that the people around me would think me possibly being poly meant that. I have plenty of guy friends whom I love platonically, but I feel no sexual interest in whatsoever. I'm actually pretty sexually...
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    A very nervous hello

    Thank you for the welcome! Yeah, the concept is a bit overwhelming, though I think the idea that I might be poly and having to figure out how to pursue it without ruffling feathers or simply being known as "that chick who wants to date all her guy friends because of X" is the daunting issue...
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    A very nervous hello

    Found this place through a couple of links, trying to find places with more activity that I could hopefully use as a sounding board. HELLO. I'm a late-20's lady who's been very (admittedly) timidly trying to assess her situation when it comes to relationships. My whole life, I've had a lot of...
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