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It would be a deal breaker for me, but all you can do is ask for the behaviour you want. You can't control his actions, but you can control yours. If your boyfriend is unwilling to accommodate your request it's up to you to enforce your boundaries. That could be by stopping all text-based...

Did your partner have any reason to believe that was something he wasn't supposed to do? If you explicitly had "no rules", then what rule did he break? Edit: my definition of cheating in a poly relationship is to unilaterally break agreements. In an open relationship with no agreements in place...

Don't. You're not in a relationship with her, so work it out with George. It's his first time as a hinge, but that doesn't mean he gets to shrug off all the work onto you. Tell him what your needs are in your relationship, and let him either deliver it or admit that he doesn't want to. Don't...

Good point. Apologies for the hijacking.

Curious to see what you could be thinking of, I've taken a couple of minutes out of my afternoon to look at your early posting history. The only threads we seem to have interacted in during your first 2-3 months were OKC advice, in which we disagreed about whether a woman on a dating site is...

You overestimate my interest in you; an internet stranger. If you think I have been trolling you, please report it so that the other mods can take a look at your complaint.

And so, he becomes a parody of himself. I'd call troll, but I suspect he actually means it.

You could, and you would be correct. The difference between us, however, is that I'm willing to learn when those who are on the receiving end of it tell me to get back into my lane. You seem more intent upon maintaining your own self-image than on actually being part of the solution. You say you...

And yet to judge by what you write here you're so blind to those same tendencies in your own behaviour. Standing on a soapbox to proclaim your awareness of racism doesn't give you a free pass.

Me? I call my fellow white people on their racist bullshit, whatever their claimed political affiliation might be. What do you do, Vince?

Today while scrolling through twitter I stumbled across this article by a consultant who is hired by businesses wanting to work out why they have trouble recruiting and/or retaining a racially diverse workforce. This thread was the first thing that leapt to mind.

I didn't think you were. I was just curious to see if someone had actually been calling names or if you were taking offence to thin air. Edit: The quote I replied to reeks of tone policing. If you're going to be an ally you shouldn't need to be coddled lest you pick up your toys and go home.

Bad idea. Don't try to pull a bait 'n switch.

You've avoided the most common red flags, but "my one forever human" implies that anyone else is only ever going to be temporary. Not many people would sign up for that if they're looking for a relationship rather than a casual fling. Maybe lose the word "one" and go with "... committed to my...

What do your profiles on the dating sites and apps say (exactly, not paraphrased)? There are certain seemingly innocuous phrases that raise a field of red flags for experienced poly women. It's possible you've accidentally used one or more of them.

I did a word search, and read that post while doing so. It doesn't call anyone racist. It describes a racist behaviour.

Can you point out where PurpleSun called anyone racist in this thread? I can't find it.

Was the So, someone called you a Unicorn Hunter? essay amongst the sites you've seen? It has some very useful tips on what not to do.

This forum is not a suicide hotline. The members are not crisis counsellors and should not be asked to provide advice as if they are. You've been given links to professional resources. Use them. If you want to read other's stories, you are free to do so; you can even start threads with specific...

You have a [Redacted at OP's request] IP address, so you may find support here. If you're not in [Redacted], please find a relevant service in this list and call them.