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It may not be a universal definition, but try googling "personal boundaries" and you'll see that it's the commonly used one.

You're not setting conditions for either him or for her; you're setting them for yourself. Where is the line for you? At what point do you say "enough's enough"? What he can control is how he reacts to his spouse, and that is what you need to hold him accountable for. You don't need to have...

This is why you're being told you have rules and boundaries mixed up; you have this turned around exactly 180°. "I will be home by 8 so that I get a good night's sleep" is a boundary you set for yourself, as is "I will not choose to be in a relationship with someone who tries to keep me up past...

True, but you can acknowledge that it is their choice to do what they choose to do. The issue to force is that where he chooses not to act he must take responsibility for making that choice. Allowing him to deflect the blame means he will never have any investment in changing his hurtful...

The problem you have is that you don't get the amount of time you would like to spend with your partner. Describe what you want (more time) rather than what you perceive to be the cause (her new partner) and let her work out how she is able to provide it. She may take some of the time allocated...

Your problem is not with her; your problem is with him. He needs to stop letting his other relationship leak over into yours. He is the one agreeing to abide by her conditions or reading messages she sends when he should be concentrating on spending time with you. He is the one who needs to...

Next question, what's "Line Dating"?

The OP seems to have been accidentally banned during a spam sweep. Hopefully they will be reactivated soon.

I'd include that under the need for flexibility. Having a set date night with a partner or spouse makes scheduling much easier. I'd also expect the "no calls/texting/whatever rule to extend in both directions; so my dates shouldn't be interrupted by your calls any more than your family time is...

Oh, I missed that one. Yes, I'd count a curfew against them.

If they are completely inflexible (eg you get into a serious car accident at 9:01pm on a Tuesday and can't call him for moral suport in the ER until Thursday), then there needs to be discussion, but otherwise those particular agreements look ok to me. They don't seek to control you in any way...

Perhaps you didn't explain the example clearly. You said (and I've bolded the part which mentioned the situation you'd understand spawning a OPP): Please quote the section containing the problem which would be solved by instituting a OPP or OVP.

I'll accept that only if "just happened" means "recently happened". If you mean "Oops, I tripped and had an affair without meaning to", then I'm going to call bullshit. My answer? "Yes, sounds good, doesn't it?" The difference is that I can say it to partners who can happily say it back. In your...

Exactly. So why place a restriction on the gender of the partner rather than on the number or duration of dates with the partner? In the example you give an OPP does nothing to help alleviate the actual problem.

It's like taking up origami because you discovered you have an allergy to nuts. The solution (restricting the gender of potential metamors) doesn't address the problem (not enough time spent as a couple). Time spent with a woman takes just as long as time spent with a man. Wouldn't a more...

How does limiting the gender of the other people help in this situation?

Moderator note: The OP has been accidentally caught in a spam sweep. An admin should be along shortly to un-ban them.

Moderator note: This thread seems to have been caught up in a spam sweep. People accidentally banned should hopefully be back soon.

I don't see that as contradictory. It sounds like you didn't/don't want to have an open relationship, but you do want to have a close connection with the friends you made while in one. It's no different than joining a football club and befriending your teammates, realising you don't like...

I'd say that poly requires independence in the sense that someone being asked to give consent to be in a poly relationship needs to be able to say "no" without fear of losing their home/ family / financial security, or it's not true consent.