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I'm not sure you'll find anyone here arguing that poly is or should be an exception to the need to behave with basic human decency. We sometimes get newbies who think they need to put up with being treated like crap because they're "secondary", but they're usually set straight within a post or two.

Moderator note: Ok, this is your regularly scheduled reminder to keep it civil. The primary rule of this board is that members need to be considerate towards each other. If you see something you believe fails to live up to that, please report it to the moderation staff using the button at...

We had a discussion (with diagrams) about this a couple of years ago. The answer is basically "lots".

I doesn't matter if it's "normal" or "right", or "expected" (and, FTR, it's not); the question is whether it's behaviour you want to accept in a romantic relationship. Slapping a poly label on abusive behaviour doesn't give it a free pass. When it comes to how people treat you, nobody gets to...

There may not be a problem from their points of view, but it sure as hell sounds like there's a problem from yours. If they're not willing to make any concessions for your comfort and well-being then you need to ask yourself if what you get out of the relationship is worth the price you pay and...

If it was me, I'd unceremoniously break up with the wife, and if hubby raised a stink or expected me to obey rules I'd not agreed to he'd be gone too. Assuming it's not as part of your D/s thing, why are you tolerating these toxic people in your life?

Thanks. That's what I started with, but it didn't look right.

I didn't mean "does he know your husband knows?", but " does he know your husband uses him for sexual gratification?" They are two quite different situations, but if he's aware of it and has consented that's all good. And now, as I understand it, you want to change your agreement from...

If you negotiated a certain way to conduct your marriage and that no longer works for you, then you need to negotiate a change. Your husband isn't the bad guy for wanting things to stay the same, and you're not the bad guy for wanting them to change, but you do need to reconcile the two. As a...

This is already covered in the User Guidelines: If you see something you believe is spam, report it using the button at the top of each post. Where there's possibility that it's unintentional we'll edit the post to remove the link and issue the poster with a warning, but where it's blatant...

You need to use BB code.

HIPPA is an American thing, so not applicable here.

I assumed you meant "sleep together" in the common usage; I stand corrected. I read that as similar to "I want a sandwich, not for bread, but for peanut butter"; in other words, you get both even though you claim only to want one. I'm often astonished at the mental gymnastics people are...

Ok, that makes things a little more sensible (depending upon what "be intimate affectionately" entails). It would probably be a good idea to also give up on the threesome idea until you have the foundations sorted out. Your previous assertion that you'd accept a triad or bust when there was no...

This might be a terminology misunderstanding. A V relationship doesn't mean your two partners are kept completely separated from each other, it just means that they aren't also in a relationship with each other. Do you expect your wife and Cam to be romantically and sexually involved with each...

I've never heard of sex therapists who actually have sex with their clients. Is that a thing?

This isn't progress toward poly, this is your wife accepting that you—like everyone except US VP Mike Pence—have friends of the opposite sex. Unless you've already explicitly laid the situation out for her and she's aware of your eventual aim it's not exactly groundbreaking stuff for a woman to...

If you usually share a bedroom with B, would it be possible to change your separate room into the "overnight guests" room? That way it's the person with the visiting partner who uses it while the other remains in their usual bedroom. It might help avoid the feeling of being kicked out of your...

Trying something new and discovering you don't like it doesn't mean you lied when you agreed to give it a try; it just means you had incomplete information.

I've seen it mentioned here a few times, but not discussed in much detail.