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Wow I'm so sorry your whole family is going through this right now. You all seem like such loving, giving, thoughtful people. I feel so sad right now. Time for me to buck up and find some positive stuff to say... You are all great people. You deserve much love in your lives, and all of you...

Echo This sounds like awesome advice, to me. I sure wish I had followed it in the early part of my failed marriage, when all those conditions applied. Good luck, Cyrus. Anotherbo :)

Sweet Sounds exciting for you. :) Something you posted earlier in this thread really stuck with me.... I completely agree, you've got an amazing guy. But now that you are on the cusp on actually getting involved with someone else as well, things might get extra scary for him. He may need...

In your head? You're too much in your own head? Maybe the reason you don't feel it is her actions aren't supporting it. Words are easy. Actions show sincerity. Anyhow, hugs. Keep hanging in there. Anotherbo

For sure... This makes a lot of sense to me. It is yours, and you surely deserve to enjoy it (finally). That said, it must be incredibly painful for DW to have to share, just when you're starting to feel good about it. Are you having trouble enjoying it as much with DW as others? Nothing...

Hmm... I posted a while back about the importance of giving yourself time to think. But as I keep reading your posts, it strikes me that you're taking a lot of emotional damage in the meantime. Is it possible to remove yourself from the situation for a while, without creating too many more...

One foot out the door? It seems to me that you've already got one foot out the door. And it may be that the healthiest thing for you both, is to end the marriage. She's mono, you're poly... its a huge difficulty to overcome. Anyhow, I've noticed a common thread among the couples who seem to...

Your cuddly friend In regards to your cuddly friend... I wouldn't be surprised if something happened pretty easily and naturally between you two. His cuddly nature will probably give you plenty of opportunities to respond in kind, and over time you'll likely get a feel about whether he's into...

I'm with you on the harder to find a poly woman thing. Feels like my potential dating pool has shrunk to almost nothing. Not such a problem at the moment, as I'm not really looking, but seems like it will be in future. Anyhow, it does sound like you've got a healthy, loving relationship...

Ditto Wow, my own story parallels yours in so many ways-- closer friends with women than men; those relationships often growing to a feeling of romantic love; not wanting casual sex (although I wasn't often self-aware enough to tell just WHAT I wanted); not caring if my wife was with another...

Just wanted to express my sympathy and good wishes for you in this emotionally wrenching situation. Hang in there! /hugs Anotherbo :)

Smack! I would want to smack him too. Even as a poly guy who feels very little jealousy, this struck me as so insensitive, and so disrespectful of the suffering you've both endured. Here's grasping at straws... is it possible he didn't mean it that way. Anyhow, just sitting here at my...

Thanks Thank you for these replies. All four of you wrote things I found helpful. As so often when I try to express myself with the written word, I am unsatisfied with the results. The part I wrote about myself didn't reflect the essential me at all. I'll take another stab at it when I can...

Wow I don't have any insight to offer about your last post, Dazed, but I did want to reiterate what some others have posted. Nora and Nick have acted with tremendous selfishness and hurtfulness throughout this affair. You seem to be acting with enormous restraint, despite the pain. I also want...

Howdy folks. Suddenly I find myself surprised to have a strong interest in the polyamorous lifestyle, after my 10-year monogamous marriage ended about a year ago. I believe I've always felt polyamorous in my heart, but didn't feel comfortable exploring it due to my own negative feelings about...