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Wow. Just wow. I keep wondering if this situation is so completely out of your control, that you can't hope to influence it no matter what you do. I'm so sorry about your mom, and for you having to deal with this craziness and disrespect at the wake, etc. *hugs* Here's hoping you can take...

@ TL ~ Not worried about losing the weight man... I've lost 80 lbs this last year and expect the gym and eating better to take care of the last 60 soon. @RP and Derby - Sharing shoes and bras, what a nice benefit of same-sex dating. Maybe I'll make compatible clothing sizes a priority when I...

Just joking Derby, I'd have to be in an insanely goofy mood to pull this off. Losing the rest of my paunch wouldn't hurt either. Maybe next year! :)

I just wanted to say you're not alone. There are several people on this forum who have gone through the exact same thing. I'm sure you'll hear from some of them soon. In my opinion, Steve isn't being very respectful or thoughtful of you right now, and I can see why you feel his concern is more...

@ Mono ~ This does seem to be a strange rule if the party is not actually about swinging, as they represented. Maybe they are worried their regular party will also become a sausage party, and not so fun as a result? Or perhaps they are just so used to having this rule, they didn't stop to...

Hmm, I recently read about masturbation being like sneezing, as some people experience it. Like there's physically an orgasm, but not the rush of pleasure. Does this happen to any of you? I occasionally have a similar thing happen, that I've heard described as a "missed orgasm". But for me...

Thanks guys, for the costume idea. Halloween here I come!

Lord, I never expected this latest turn of events, and I'm so sorry for you both. I'm so glad to see you posting here, Sparky, even if it makes you uncomfortable. You don't seem unreasonable to me at all. Throughout this whole thing, you seem like you've stayed sanest of all, and done the...

From your other thread, whimsey... Being loved, respected, valued, heard, kept completely in the loop... these things are critical to a successful poly relationship. I'm pretty unimpressed with Mess' attempts to be Mr W so far... and that's coming from a man who cheated on his wife of 10...

Wow, its hard to believe this huge shift in mindset happened within 3 days! Remembering to see Kelsey as a whole person, not a plaything, is so crucial... I'm so glad RP helped you refocus! She would have been so hurt otherwise, and you would have felt like the biggest asshole. The next big...

This seems to be a common double standard for men considering polyamory. I keep thinking these things have a lot to do with subconscious reproductive strategies related to sex; poly women dating only women aren't going to get pregnant with their OSO*, which is reassuring to the man. And many men...

This thread reminds me of a recent poll, about what facets of cheating bothered people most. Interestingly, it found that generally, men were most worried about sexual infidelity, and women about emotional ties. Most of our core attitudes about romance and sex seem to be rooted in...

It sure sounds beautiful and wonderful to me! You sound very in love with C., and very connected to both of them. Why should the absence of sex detract from that? It's awesome just how it is. Personally I think sexual gratification is comparatively easy to find; emotional bonding is so...

Hey River, I'm still around, but I'm guessing Raze is changing continents right now. Anyhow, your holistic feeling about the people you date sounds very healthy to me. It's pretty much what I'm working toward. I do ok re: women, but I still have no actual experience with any M-M...

I agree with this. I don't see how you three can possibly make things work at this point, and it does seem like your marriage is at risk. However, I disagree with making C the bad guy here. At some point it's gonna be a lot more useful to try to see her perspective. I don't think she's to...

Sounds like you both sincerely feel used. Maybe there is another explanation? Here's my take. She finally opened herself to the possibility that she had fallen in love with you. Not an easy thing to do; we're so conditioned to homophobia, even being open about your bisexuality doesn't make...

Do you feel like you've made an effort to understand what C has been going through, TL? She fucked up no doubt, or worse she made a calculated attempt to seduce P2... but these actions didn't happen in a vacuum. (more later, my larger post got lost in the ether) For now I'll just add, I'm so...

Man, that's awesome to hear!

Xeromag's polyamory FAQ is good for explaining poly basics to partners (and ex-wives!). If you're looking for something more in-depth, Mono has mentioned Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits in the Book Recommendations thread here. Side note: there a forum protocol about embedding links like...

Have you read any of the posts about people coming out as poly, Jlpanian? I'm all for doing so, but it can be a rough ride. Might help to read up a bit first. It will probably help that it's still theoretical. You're asking them to deal with a concept, not a concept + a person. I have no...