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If you can't stand being poly, get a divorce. But don't drag his girlfriend into your and his mess.

If anyone here has seen Enchanted, it's a story that has very much resonated with me. Sure, the Disney princess/prince love stories are ridiculous. But no more so than the rest of the silly ideas that real people have about what love and romance is. I rarely hear a love song on the radio that...

I agree that without blending a family together, whether that involves kids or not, it's difficult to form a primary relationship. Which brings us to the issue, how do you get "real" commitment? The truth is, you get what you give. If you aren't giving him a significant part of your life...

How are your travels as a secondary going? In the beginning, you seemed to have struggles... But, really, a secondary IS a lesser priority than a primary. So, it's all about what you want/need. In some cases, the secondary is stuck at secondary and controlled by the primary relationship (by...

It sounds like you and he are secondaries to each other. Nothing intrinsically wrong with a hierarchical model (you get the safety of knowing your primary always puts you first) but the position of the secondary is naturally shaky. There is a good chance that, if this girl is in any way...

Just because he's attracted to her doesn't mean he can afford a third girlfriend. My partner often mentions cute girls, but he puts my financial security and our time together, with associated costs, first. After taking care of his kids, of course. However, supposing she imposed no...

You don't sound very poly. For many people, they are truly happy for their partner's happiness with others. It sounds like you can only be happy when the poly relationship is directly benefiting you (i.e. a shared girlfriend.)

I agree with Sparklepop. Worry less about whose "night" it is, and balance each other's needs. When I first started dating my partner, I was okay with very little time (by which I meant sex about 2-3x a week). Usually he'd come over for a couple hours at a time). Now? He prioritizes my...

Honestly, this is why I don't date monos. Aside from the fact that I can't indulge in compersion for them...or share mutually loved partners...I just don't want to be in your position. Obviously, you can't choose who you love, but understand that this sort of stressful environment is something...

Part of being poly is taking care of yourself. They should probably have been nurturing other romantic relationships-- expecting you to meet both their full romantic/Intimate/sexual needs is unrealistic. However, a temporary fix could be them seeking play partners. That way you can ease...

So I discovered this site from a friend called 7cupsoftea.com I think sometimes we just want a place to easily chat/vent/discuss problems. It's nice, though, when talking about relationships to find someone who is experienced or knowledgeable about poly. And unfortunately, very few people...

@Janye, of course you should be able to talk about things IF YOU AGREED TO THEM. But it's not really very healthy for the OP to feel hurt or excluded by NOT being informed of what a metamour does, if they don't have that relationship. It also shouldn't be something expected in poly. Is it...

I understand your concern, but if she's your metamour, it's really none of your business who she sleeps with or uses protection with. I get that if you have sex with her, you may not want to have unprotected sex with her, but you can't really say much as to how she handles relationships...

I kinda don't understand what's going on. ..

My partner lived with his Other. But he spent equal time with both of us (due to our traveling together) It looks like their relationship isn't very significant.

This makes sense for swingers. But not so much if you let feelings get involved.

Trust that your boyfriend knows what he's talking about. It was really hard at first for my partner to believe me when I said marriage with him wasn't something I needed at all. I mean, who knows, I may end up getting married to someone else (though that's unlikely, as I don't believe in...

Are you sure this isn't about you being significantly older than her and slightly insecure as secondary? I'm sure he finds her just as attractive, if not more so, than you. The fact that he doesn't ever really compliment her appearance in front of you seems to indicate he wants to ensure you...

Not sure I can clarify this, without getting more into my personal life than I'm comfortable with. But it's not an LDR, in the sense that he and I live in separate places and rarely see each other. Just that I sense that our traveling schedules won't align as perfectly as they usually do, and...

You don't think that maybe part of it is who they choose to date, though? Sorry, but if the girlfriend really was, I want to move in/live with you the rest of my life after ONE week, I think she might be have been a little cuckoo....