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Sigh...I know the pain you went through and it isn't fun. Thank whoever you pray to that there aren't kids involved, and don't feel guilty about the breakup of a relationship that had nothing to do with you. Support him and be kind....and be considerate of the fact that you may look like a...

Well, this isn't a "worry," as in some theoretical imagining...Arlo has made it very clear that he'll leave you whenever he has another relationship that is willing to commit exclusively to him. Even if this current relationship doesn't work out, you know he'll still be looking for the right...

In all honesty, he already HAS cut it off with you, in his mind. I'd be cautious, too, of expecting to stay friends with him. Most monogamous partners would not appreciate their spouse staying close with an ex-spouse. Because, you know, they're mono. Understand this was your risk in dating...

You really did everything right in being honest, but it's just not what he wants. Of course his new relationship is going to trump yours...you and he no longer have a relationship. And he can't develop a new relationship, while still being with you. I'm sure his new girlfriend would be...

I think that only applies if the boyfriend is someone you like :) My ex-metamour dated a guy who showed up at her and her husband's doorway threatening my partner with a gun. Pretty sure he was glad when she dumped him ;)

My partner and I are totally unicorn hunters....we just want lots of unicorns, not just one :) So far, we've found two :) There's nothing wrong with seeking bisexual women to join your group. Just know that A) It is difficult to find that right match, B) Don't expect her to develop equal...

It's all very well and good to have feelings for more than one person, but poly generally doesn't work well when it's all about YOU. And, frankly, it sounds like you've created this idyllic world that works for you-- but not so much thinking if it works for them. You want to open it, to this...

My experience is the opposite. I've known more poly structures with two men and a woman than two women and a man (despite the harem myth that gets perpetuated). I don't know if men are better at sharing or what...but in practice, that's what I've seen.

*Shrugs* I don't think you need to be overwhelmingly excited for their new relationships. It's not like you're miserable over it. Just...mildly happy but mostly indifferent. Fine. For me, compersion deepens over time. I felt a a deep happiness at my partner's relationship with his former...

Well, I'm spoiled in that my partner's DO feel compersion for me; and I doubt I could ever settle for being with a partner who doesn't feel that (like, I could have chocolate cake WITHOUT ice cream, and it's awesome, but....if I can have ice cream, too, why not have it all?) However, I'm...

I was in precisely your situation. Guess what? Ultimately, it was his decision to follow it, not hers. When I asked him about it, turned out he did not like it and both of us worked to ease her out of the policy, while still respecting her feelings. Here's a brief excerpt from the "More Than...

Is there a reason you have to sacrifice? Our polyship would never allow someone to be alone during holidays.

I don't think most poly people can live monogamously. They can be with one partner for years. My partner was mono with his ex for 10 years. I was mono with him (while he was with her, however) for almost three. Someone else mentioned being mono with a partner for 17. Ultimately, though...

You need to provide more specific details if you want any kind of decent advice. I understand keeping go vague generalities to protect your identity. ... but I really don't know what's going on. Based on what you've said, the requests you made seemed very reasonable...I don't understand what...

How do people think primaries happen, anyway? Just got into a relationship with a woman, who I consider to be a primary, despite only having known each other for three weeks. Yet she put in a INCREDIBLE amount of investment into the early relationship, I feel a natural connection, and she's...

I dunno. If my partner asked me about some guy I was messaging I'd say, Yeah he's pretty cool. Not sure what will happen but I'll let you know. Not vehemently deny (as OP says happened, for now I'll take him at his word) and go, No, no, no! This isn't anything! OP has a lot to...

If it weren't cheating, why would she deny that anything was happening with the guy? I think both are at fault here.

Poly aside, you're not ready for non-monogamy. The appropriate thing to do last night was to speak up when you started feeling neglected. If you don't feel confident even asking for that, than you shouldn't be dealing with threesomes, let alone poly relationships.

Not having a partner "of her own"? If she's poly, wouldn't her partners normally have other partners? So what if her partners also happen to be dating/attached to each other?

I prefer to independently develop relationships. If my boyfriend fell for a married woman, fine, but I don't want the pressures of trying to fall in love with the husband. And then oftentimes jealousy breaks the quad apart even if I AM willing to risk it to begin with.