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There's only 18 pages on that topic on this thread alone. http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2050. Please Google research before acting like you're the first to discover this problem. It's not a bizarre question. It's the second most popular after,."Am I the first woman to...

As poly, I too am offended by that "My being poly benefits you." I'm not poly to bring you benefits but because I care for multiple people. Or maybe just one. Depends on who is in my life.

I just ask my partner to pay for cleaning services.

Be mono? DaDt relationships are completely unfair to any other person you bring into the relationship. If you think you can have your cake and eat it too (enjoy a poly/non mono type, while still pretending you're mono), than go for it. But it rarely ends up in a good place. If you want an...

Apologies for misunderstanding...but it appeared that you had a solid marriage while she had only another abusive relationship. I'm acutely aware how you can be alone and living with a partner. However, you seem to be making assumptions of your own. Maybe it wasn't necessary to step away...

1) You have a husband and another boyfriend, while she only has him? Perhaps he thinks you can take care of yourself, while she needs more. I personally give and ask for what I need, regardless of how many partners everyone has (if a mono woman dated my guy, she'd have to share equally with...

That relationship has so much going wrong...with you and him...him and her...her and you...

I completely relate to that. I don't want to hold a wedding ceremony with my partner (not legal, just ceremonial) until we have the money to do whatever we (read, I) want. Why rush it?

It's not jealous, but it's a sort of fear...more a vague worry kind of fear than a sharp fear. As if there's something under my bed, but I don't know what it is. The worst possible thing is actually that he never finds a primary and cycles through a continuous pattern of short-lived...

1. Don't lie. 2. Date poly folk. Seriously, deciding to only date poly people took out 99% of drama in our lives. My partner decided to date one mono woman in that time...probably never again. I might date a mono partner, but it would be a rare exception for a rare person. I would...

I mean, he wouldn't date a woman who objected to him being in a relationship with me. I've no interest in considering the motives behind that, though, my partner has no interest nor time to devote to a girlfriend who won't hang out with him, me...and, when it gets serious enough..his kids. He...

I hope she isn't one of those women who is okay with dating others, but won't let her partner date...

I'll contemplate more of your and Kevin's thoughts, but I don't think this is realistic for us. We don't do specified date nights, such as "Tuesdays are the nights we go out with other people." But I think I'll try to be better at asking him his plan's for the next week or so, and see if he...

So. I'm currently my partner's only primary. While we believe in a multi primary model, it is what it is right now. And I realized I am NOT handling it very well. I enjoyed the fact that he could rely on 2 women. Being his only primary is pressuring. The other thing I'm realizing is that I...

Ummmm, it sounds pretty clear that both OP and husband are at fault here and I don't see evidence of him not being committed. Simply resentful that she's demanding he cut off his other lover.

Yes. It's a definite risk. That can be a disaster. .... but can also be amazing beyond words. Big risk, big reward.

Don't forget that if you pause, he may not wait around.

It's kinda crazy to think that my partner would ever date someone who objected to being with me, but aren't cowboys and cowgirls actively trying to break up other relationships? Cuz I can tell you right now that anyone who did that would never get kicked out the door by me; he'd do it before I...

The easiest thing to do is leave. I don't know anything about your relationship, but...unless you can somehow cut that toxic metamour out of your life, I'd move on. I stayed with a partner with an abusive partner. But I made it clear, once I realized what was happening, that a condition of my...

Not sure if you mean poly or mono, but in mono relationships, commitment shows it's "real" and defines you as off-limits to all others. In poly, commitment defines the level of attachment. You could be committed in whatever capacity you feel like, whether that means intimate friend or...