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@Evie Naww imagine the disappointment when someone in Antarctica thinks it's their lucky (24 hr) day matching with you...

You asked: What can I say to get him to open up? I think: Nothing. Him opening up involves him talking. Not you. Quite apart from anything else, it sounds like he is disinterested in being poly. For whatever reason, he's cheating and that's not a problem for him. You know he's still being...

This is a really lovely update. Sounds like poly is working out for you and you're really thoughtful about how you're moving through it. Thanks for sharing

Some good things this morning. Lobe did stop drinking last night, thankfully, so was functional today and able to chat. Lobe didn't tell me about the nos because he thought it would take longer to arrive. That sort of makes sense, but was a poor judgement call as it did arrive sooner and...

When I resumed this blog recently, I didn't expect I'd be considering major changes to my domestic relationships, but here I am. I'm considering a trial separation from Lobe, if it's possible under the same roof. Ocean, Lobe and I own a home together and previous to purchase we did discuss...

Interesting concept. I've thought in the past how you can adore others and make them gods in your own world. I think this makes more sense in a worldview where deities aren't necessarily perfect / benevolent but where they are well loved and honoured. I don't think any person should be expected...

Ah @Bluebird that's so many layers of health stuff going on at once. I hope all your tests come back neg, Mister M and BugGirl both recover well!

Kevin, I might be wrong, but it sounds like you're feeling down on yourself including your contribution to this forum (from your post a few posts up). I don't always agree with your advice but it's obvious that you are caring and are trying to see things from other people's perspectives...

Aha, yeah - they are super adorable. Before having kids I tried to do some reading into the experiences of kids in polyam families. The two major downsides according to one study I read were: judgment from others, and having too much adult supervision (not enough private time for experiments)...

That's rubbish, sorry to hear that. Hope you get good rest tonight and you wake up vaxxed and fresh

Another Grotto story - over new year 2020/21 I went camping w Grotto and the kids. Ocean and Lobe weren't keen to go away so it was just the five of us (myself and Grotto plus the 3 kidlings). It was to a camping festival; there weren't active COVID cases at the time - it's hard to imagine that...

When you say "I struggle to respond in even a mildly positive fashion" I wonder what your experience of / thinking about sexual desire is. I used to have a block with a partner who initiated more than me. And I would think, I need to feel sexual desire before I want to be sexual with him. So if...

@FallenAngelina is the incompatibility insurmountable? OP doesn't have to be into group sex parties directly. Just has to see if his feelings are shiftable regarding his GF's choices. Feelings are signals but they also have sources. Sometimes it's worth exploring the sources - it doesn't deny...

Yes it can be an emotional rollercoaster. You've been surprised by your feelings and it can be hard not to be fixated on this. It's built up for you as a big thing. You might think the solution is that she changes her plans. But even if she pulled the plug, you'd have things to deal with. She...

It's been a while! Gnome is now 1, Elf is 3 and Fern turned 5 a few months ago. The city I'm in has had rolling lockdowns and we're in a fairly strict one now. I'm back at work a couple of days a week, which is enough (just) for now. But Ocean has been out of paid work for perhaps two years...

Agree with GG above. Another thing you might have control over is your thinking about fluid bonding / your GF's decision to have group sex. You think that she is choosing this group sex experience over a month of sex with you. And yes, you can put it that way. But it need not be a negative...

Sherbert

I love your description of this. I don't know if chess auto-commentating is a thing many people do, but you're good at it!

Hey thanks for your welcome message on chess.com! I wrote a reply but when I posted it, it said "you cannot add links in your messages" and it had cleared my whole message. I had mentioned Polyamory.com in the message so I guess that's what set it off. Once I lick my wounds and have a clear...

It's so hard to have to process your grief separate from the network of others who cared for him. I hope you get some comfort from sharing with your friends, or this forum, at least.