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Why would I make one half reply to the other? They're not mutually exclusive. Furthermore, I never claimed, for a fact, that one can, or can't control their feelings. I'm simply not convinced that no one ever can. Nor did I claim that controlling being in those situations that lead to feelings...

Oh, and just so we're clear. I'm not talking about keeping secrets from people otherwise affected. If I ask you to keep the secret that I stole $50 out of Mary's purse, of course it's your right to speak up.

Ugh... so much to take issue with, but I guess I'll start with the obvious. I didn't create this thread, I simply replied to it. Furthermore, I didn't give anything specific in details, so no, I'm not doing the very thing I'm complaining about. Granted, I've gone deeper in other conversations...

Well, first of all, I'm not all that convinced that people can't control who they have feelings for. You might be right to an extent, but I don't think it's quite so obvious. That being said, we CAN control the situations we put ourselves in when it comes to having people we might have feelings...

You're right, I forgot to add that. I didn't intentionally leave it out, but after thinking about it, I really didn't think it was necessary. It should go without saying that EVERY relationship is based on consent. Even monogamy is not monogamy unless both partners consent... yet, there never...

Actually , when you break it down, 500,000 relationships/families doesn't seem all that high when you think about it. Assuming they're counting relationships as a unit, and not counting each individual, then you're looking at 1.5 million people. Hell, lets go big and assume that some...

Ok, first of all, my wife is not 16 years old, we'd been married for 16 years at the time. As of now, we've been married for 18 years. She's 40 btw. Now, as for what's "her place"... here's the thing. Divulging things to someone, about someone else, without consent is NO ONE'S place. If two...

Well, as for my wife, I'm not really sure if her unwillingness to talk has anything to do with my keeping quiet. With her, I believe it was much more about choosing to confide with someone not willing to give her the occasional hard truth. With me, it was about not respecting the boundaries in...

I tried that once, and got burned by it, so I don't talk about it with her anymore. She knows that I am insecure, it's not a secret, but the details are saved for either a therapist, or in an anonymous setting such as here. Even then, I'm an extremely private person & don't divulge any more than...

Again, we're debating two entirely different points here. Since it seems to have been overlooked, I'll say it again. I'm not advocating that anyone "come out" if they have reason to believe it'll be negatively received by those they need to get along with. Hell, you might recall that I was the...

First of all, I'm not "demanding" anything. I asked for examples of "societal shaming/labeling" that many- including the OP- seem to indicate are so common. I asked for these because of the claims don't seem to match reality. As for societal disapproval... you're partly right. Society is...

And that little "snippet" only proves that you really didn't pay attention to what I said... Nowhere did I say, or even imply that there were no repercussions for people who were out. I do think that this assertion that it's so prevalent is heavily over exaggerated. And the fact that you felt...

I didn't dismiss those circumstances, I've always acknowledged that friends & family came & do often have negative reactions... that, however, has nothing to do with the topic at hand. Dealing with a judgmental friend does not mean that society is judging & labeling you. One, two, or even a...

Honestly, I'm not really making an argument. There seems to be this assertion from poly folks there's this widespread discrimination, judgment and labeling by "society". Since I have not seen it, I asked if it were really the case, and only received assertions that it "could happen". Of course...

I'm well aware there are places here in the US that are "at will" states. I'm in California, and it's the same here. The point is not that it can't happen in the US, but rather, the fact that there don't seem to be enough circumstances where it does happen tend to suggest that people are getting...

So, in other words.... we don't hear about discharge over poly because we don't hear about discharges in general? Not that I don't accept that premise, but how does that infer that there's a bias against polyamory? As for the family in Connecticut... there would need to be an example where...

While I think this is unrelated to the topic at hand (societal consequences), since you brought it up, I might as well clear the air with you... I really didn't try hard for honest poly, or any poly for that matter. While there was a very brief moment of consideration in order to wrap my head...

Ok. Let me start off by saying that these are the types of societal consequences that I was asking about. Of course there will be circumstances where a disapproving family member might raise a fuss, but that speaks of the individual, not the society. As for the items you addressed, while it may...

I didn't say "social consequences", I said "societal", which was in reference to the title of the thread, and the remarks by the OP. While friends and family may be part of one's social circle, they do not wholly define society. To claim "society's labels", or "societal consequences", is to...

Again... family members & friends passing judgment is not the issue at hand. Of course, we'll always have someone who sees us in a negative light. Hell, my mother would be devastated if she found out I'm an Atheist. I have a number of family members who would either try to convert me, or disown...