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Wait... I was blocked? Does that mean that my posts aren't being seen

I came to that understanding because of his initial post. He wanted to stay together, but knew that meant that he could never explore it, so unless he cares that little about her feelings (which I doubt), the fact that it's even a consideration, tells me that the urges aren't too strong. Not to...

I never said that he (or anyone else in that situation) should have just left with no explanation. Look, you folks are really taking this keep it to yourself scenario WAY out of context. To start, I specifically said that such a topic should ONLY be avoided IF the poly partner didn't need to...

You're absolutely right, it is my opinion, albeit an opinion gained from experience, and not just in my own situation, but at no point did I claim to be factually superior. It's fascinating though, how the mere suggestion that you think long & hard before deciding if coming out is truly...

While I can see why some would think that, I don't think I'd say that's quite the case. When you get down to it, the ONLY true difference between mono & poly, is the number of participants in the relationship. And while I do think that being in a loving relationship, you're part of something...

Very true. Unfortunately, too few people see the value in having just a plain ol' boring life. Personally, it's all I ever wanted. Sure, I've had to deal with adversity, but why bring it unnecessarily? Sometimes ignorance really is bliss.

And I think that's why I'm drawn so much to this topic. We don't have her point of view, but based on everything he has said about her, it feels like my situation all over again.

Thank you so much for saying that. For a while, I wasn't sure if my points were getting through to much of anyone. You're exactly right. I'm not saying that my opinions are indicative of all mono folks. I can only speak for myself. However, I do find it important for all involved to understand...

If the urges are really that strong, then the urges exist to carry through with it. In which case, I would agree that telling their partner is the fair thing to do, just don't expect him/her to stick around. But we're not talking about putting up a facade... if said poly partner is perfectly...

I'm not posting these concepts with the expectation that most are going to agree. Especially on this site. However, I would also have to disagree with you to a degree as well. If we know some nugget of information is going to hurt him/her, then we must FULLY accept the consequences of choosing...

Look, I didn't mean to strike a nerve, and I most definitely never said , explicitly or implicitly, that you should have cheated. The point was very simply, that if your gf is anything like me, it would have been a better alternative than ever dropping the bomb. Now, my wife used the same line...

Like I said, I don't want to be a downer, but if honesty is what you favor most, then you have to accept it as a likely outcome. For both of your sake, coming from someone still trying to recover, I truly hope things work out better. But reading so much of what you said, mirrored so much of my...

Where exactly is the irony? You seem to misunderstand the point in what I said. Look at it this way, if poly folks are the first to point out that polyamory is not just about sex, then why is it that sex is the only thing that we monos can seem to object with? That's actually more ironic if...

My apologies in advance if I seem like a downer, but I believe that it's important to understand that all scenarios (positive or negative) are possible. to be clear, I don't find anything inherently wrong with polyamory. I just find them extremely incompatible. Sure, there are exceptions to...

You're absolutely right. Boundaries exist whether we like it or not. To act as though relationships shouldn't have boundaries is not only naive, but incredibly selfish, especially when talking about actions that directly affect someone else. Apparently, she didn't get the memo that freedom...

Wow. With so many similarities, I almost thought I was reading one of my old posts. Something you said in particular stood out for me... you said that she says it's not fair to limit her... my reply would have been that you're not limiting her, but rather yourself. And you don't need to be...

True. Plus, I just think it seems to be a bit naive, and condescending to assume that jealousy is never justified. It's not a pleasant feeling of course, but it's not always an irrational one. Honestly, I think that those who rail so hard against it, are usually people looking to alleviate...

It seems like this is a common topic as of late. A lot of emphasis on jealousy, and a fair amount of shaming jealous natured individuals. While I do agree that there are lines that one ought never cross due to jealousy (murder, physical abuse, etc...), this notion that jealousy has virtually no...