Search results

As odd as it sounds, if that relationship had to exist at all, then yes I think would have preferred it be kept in secret. I realize that it, along with my other remarks give the impression that I don't value communication. I don't personally feel like that's the case, but I've always been the...

We had the talk Friday night, and continued it a little bit on Saturday morning. Overall, it went alright. She was upset because she said that she never wanted me to feel like this, and she regrets ever entertaining the thought. She says she understands, but I'm not confident that she actually...

Ah. Now I get it. Thanks for clarifying. I'll keep you posted on the talk.

I'm probably going to show how uncool or unhip I am... But I don't know what PIV or GGG is. So I honestly can't comment on that. That being said. I can't leave for work with a cliffhanger like that. She's the type to do one of two things if I told her that I needed to talk to her about...

That's true. But I also wasn't looking to get into a discussion about it minutes before I had to leave for work. Nor did I want to open the possibility of discussing it over the phone. I hate talking about it on the phone. I prefer it in person. You're right. It should be joyful. I guess...

That's good advice. Like I said earlier, I think it's time we had the talk about it. About how it's changed my perception, etc... In the beginning, we were constantly talking it from every angle, but there was never a time where I spoke about not wanting her, or about how my feelings have...

I appreciate all of you responses & kind words. Fallenangelena, I'm glad you see my posts as insightful. I do try to say something with substance, even if many fundamentally disagree with where I'm coming from. But I do think that under the surface, we're not so different. We all want the same...

Very true. I mean, I want my friends & family to be happy, and I know that not every couple goes through what we did... I guess that's just me bring cynical when I have that urge to "warn" them. I get the process... It makes sense. I feel like I'm bouncing between the euphoria & the...

You might be right. As for the remark about sex, maybe I didn't word it right. It's always been a sacred thing to me. It's one of the reasons I couldn't handle poly in the first place. I would physically ill when I thought about her having sex with someone else. I no longer feel that now, but I...

A lot of you know my story. For those of you who don't, we can touch on that later. But I came upon a realization over the last couple of weeks that I'm just not the same person anymore. Things have changed for the foreseeable future, and not in a way I would classify as better. We've been to a...

This seems to be a common issue. Many are alright with the sex, but not okay with deeper feelings. Which, to be fair, is an unreasonable boundary, because, as you said yourself, you didn't intend for your own feelings to go very deeply. And yet, here you are. As much as I don't want to be the...

While I think it's safe to say that there are zealots on both sides who would see the other as "evil", "selfish", and so on. It's important to note that most people really don't care until it gets personal. As a mono, do I care what consenting adults choose for their relationship models? No. But...

After reading this thread, I'm still trying to pick my jaw up off the floor. As a mono, I know what it's like to appear selfish & controlling towards others. I don't fault you for struggling with poly. When my wife revealed it to me, I had an extremely difficult time with the thought of it, and...

If there's theft going on, she might want to consider getting the police involved.

Wow... It sounds to me like she's just telling you that she's going to do what she wants, and it's your duty to learn to be okay with it!? I'm sorry but, that's more indicative of a spoiled child than someone who is interested in mutual, loving respect. My wife once told me about her dream for...

I kind of find the mandate from him a little odd. Has there been a discussion of what sort of consequence there would be if she doesn't do that EVERY night? And how does your wife even feel about such a thing being "mandatory"? It seems that you're not thrilled with the poly in the first place...

As a mono who has struggled to find peace with a poly minded partner, I can tell you that there's no tried & true way to "convince" them of it. It has to be something that they discover for them self. Utilize patience & compassion as much as possible. It took me well over a year before I was...

I don't know if I'd say it's naive, but I do think that there's a bit of wishful thinking there. It is possible that she may realize, or at least accept that this is something you "need and want", but that doesn't mean that it will be any easier for her to go along with. As a mono myself, I can...

Often times, the mono partner agrees under duress. Although, if he/she could have their say, there would be no poly arrangements. We you & the girlfriend already involved at the time you revealed this to your wife? If so, then that's likely where the accusations of cheating are coming from. If...

I totally agree about life not being a dress rehearsal. I do believe that this is the only shot we have, and it's up to us to make the most of it... Speaking of quotes, I've been thinking about this one a lot lately... "I'll tell you this, no eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the...