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  1. LovingRadiance

    Book: Love in Abundance

    Bummer! I'm a reader too. I was excited to see a new title. But that doesn't sound like something I will be up to reading. I did enjoy More Than Two. Also Love Without Limits II
  2. LovingRadiance

    Aren't most people poly, but in denial?

    Define most. Define poly. Define cheating. Without doing that explicitly-its impossible to even discuss.
  3. LovingRadiance

    Just LR

    The kids are happily ensconced in their gifts. A small Christmas, but they each got something they very much wanted. SweetPea is reading a book about the worst record album covers in history. SourPea is playing with a set of Frozen dolls about 3 inches tall with interchangable clothes. I...
  4. LovingRadiance

    Just LR

    I have done both, Kevin. He still has to work through the acceptance of the "new" reality. Go figure. I'm standing my ground, but I admit that I get tired of repeating myself. Today I wrapped the last few little gifts for the kids. In the past we've had some large Christmases. This year is the...
  5. LovingRadiance

    Just LR

    GG's finding the moment where he realizes he actually has to face it-- we are over. He is a wreck. Not really sure how to help him. I am going with "be real." It's painful for him to face it, and hear about Panther and me. But the "we" he misses is no longer reality.
  6. LovingRadiance

    Dealing with the first metamour

    I personally find that when I am feeling those yucky kind of feelings-what is best for me is to actually reconnect with the life that is MINE-away from my partner(s). Sometimes, ok, often times, when we get involved in a serious relationship, we push the things that were primarily OUR OWN...
  7. LovingRadiance

    Just LR

    He doesn't return to Kodiak until mid January. We are flying to Arizona for two weeks on the 29th. The tickets, etc. were bought before all the drama. I need the sunlight. I can't afford to throw away non-refundable tickets/reservations, and I can't afford to not take the two weeks of sunlight...
  8. LovingRadiance

    Just LR

    Granddaughter was born yesterday at 3:44pm. :) She's 5 weeks early (as planned) and came by C-section. Mommy and baby are both doing well. Baby was almost 6 lbs. So they aren't keeping her in the ICU as they expected they would need to. Which is AWESOME! She's already quite happy with...
  9. LovingRadiance

    Just LR

    I got my class schedule for January. 11 credits. 1 credit shy of a "full time" load. Biology (3 credits), biology lab (1 credit), art appreciation (3 credit) and Calculus (4 credits). All required classes for my degree. I will be in town from early morning until 8 pm 2 days a week. With my...
  10. LovingRadiance

    Just LR

    He woke me up at 5:30 this morning when he was leaving for work to ask if I was using condoms, then explained, "I went to your room last night and noticed the Vaginal Contraceptive Film." I was sound asleep. I answered the question, but I didn't elaborate. I woke up at 8, pissed off. I don't...
  11. LovingRadiance

    Just LR

    Funny you mention the grief stages again, Kevin, because I was absolutely seeing myself going through them. But you are right. He is zinging around in them. Several people have asked me recently if he may be bipolar. I don't think so. I think it's what you just noted, zinging around out of...
  12. LovingRadiance

    Just LR

    He doesn't believe he's hardwired for monogamy. One of the digs he keeps throwing out there is that he "hopes" I won't be hurt when he is in an open relationship with someone new, because, as he sees it, the problem isn't being poly, the problem is that I don't do it 'his way' because he...
  13. LovingRadiance

    Just LR

    He wants to go through all the "who did what wrong and when" details in negotiations. So, it's not "fair" for me to want to include the right for overnights in negotiating now, because 3 years ago, I agreed to no overnights with other partners while we were both here. It's not "fair" for me to...
  14. LovingRadiance

    Just LR

    The issue is that he says he wants to rebuild a relationship. BUT he won't sit down and start from SCRATCH. He keeps wanting to "start negotiating" from some other point prior to him saying he wanted a divorce. It's far too complicated to detail. His mind changes every couple of days. I've...
  15. LovingRadiance

    Just LR

    I'm going to go to town and spend the day with Panther. I'm leaving in 10 minutes. I was wanting to be able to go out with him and our friends this evening, but because it's in town and we would be going to the bars, I wanted to be free to spend the night in town so that I didn't have to drive...
  16. LovingRadiance

    Just LR

    It is a ways away. He's already insisted that if/when I am going to stay in the house, Panther isn't allowed to visit here. If I want to see him, I have to go see him elsewhere. On Dec 16th, the grandkids will come stay with us until the 29th. Because I traded the minivan for a small Prius, I...
  17. LovingRadiance

    Just LR

    Yeah, dental stuff is a pain. But it's better than letting it wait til it's a hopeless case, ya know? Today I'm trying not to ruminate on how frustrated I am. Sunday is Panther's birthday. Maca's take on it is that I should be home because he's off work that day, "and thus available and soon...
  18. LovingRadiance

    Just LR

    Temporary crown put in today. Mouth is numb. Lol. At least my fingers aren't. Permanent one will go in mid January.
  19. LovingRadiance

    Just LR

    I'm feeling stupid tonight. It doesn't matter if my personality type is "always striving to be understood." I feel like a fucking idiot for continuing to try and explain myself when it's SO OBVIOUSLY NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. Nothing I say is going to be right. Nothing I do is going to be right...
  20. LovingRadiance

    Just LR

    That's awesome, MusicalRose. Things are slow here. GG has an apartment. He started moving boxes today. He's had some major awakening moments in the last few months, nothing that makes it possible for us to be in a relationship, but things that he needed to figure out. One of them is that he's...
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