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From a scientific perspective, the only way to overcome a fear/insecurity is to face it down until it becomes normalized. The discomfort will decrease with increased experience. Which is true of just about anything "new" we encounter in life actually.

Ok wow-I didn't make that connection YAH! I actually knew of the blog from a fb group I am in. BUT HI! If you want-I can let you know who I am in that group so you don't wonder who the heck it is that figured out who you were here and there. Just pm me if you want to know. ANyway-I do think...

My bf of 21 years was mono and I was poly. I know of others as well. The key (imho) is to really get down adn dirty with yourself and look into what it is you NEED versus strongly want to be fully and completely happy and healthy IN YOURSELF. Because until you do that-the rest is arbitrary...

Done. Like the fact that it leaves open spaces to elaborate.

Thus far I have only liked one of the women Maca's chosen. My choice has been to not be around the others. They aren't the type of people I would generally associate myself with anyway. He tends to go for bar-hoppers & I am anything but. So I just don't spend time around them. I agree...

All of the above, really. Just trying to focus on each day, one at a time. Not letting myself think about anything more than a week out, and only for planning purposes of transportation/kids/appointments. But mostly just taking it day by day.

The first appointment was just intake. The second appointment she asked what two topics we thought were critical to start with. Maca answered resolving the conflict between him and Panther, & rebuilding trust. I agreed that those were key and we could start there. But things got derailed...

Found my algebra book and spent the day doing math. I KNOW its an odd geek-ism, but it really does calm and relax me. I shared some info with Maca from a friend on FB who writes very well about her ethics in regards to relationships, personal boundaries, etc. Evidently it really struck him. He...

Maca and I attended a therapy appointment today. Immediately following it I dropped him off at the airport. He's back in Kodiak now. Over the weekend, our son had a pretty major emotional breakdown and ended up sobbing in my arms for over an hour. It had a significant impact on Maca. The...

Imaginaryillusion lovingradiance emm ATM Nycindie Those are the moderators. Sardonic if you prefer. I'm glad you get along with KDT-so do I. However;it's still pertinent that he does not speak for the mods or to the mods "for the posters". Poly requires direct, honest communication; and...

Clearly sarcasm is your preferred language. However-you can alert a moderator on your own. Every poster has that ability. That is not KDT's job or responsibility. Furthermore, as a moderator let me state for the record; There is nothing wrong with the OP's post as an intro. In the future if...

JUST responding to your title question-not your post. Yes an affair can turn to poly in some cases. BUT It requires all parties to do some SERIOUS deep introspection, consider wtf their personal issues are that they need to resolve in order to be the kind of person who can be an honest...

We will see. After two straight hours of arguing because he wants me to understand that his behavior was all a result of the combined bullshit and he isnt "evil or bad," I am too pissed off to see MY EFFORTS to find a therapist as being hopeful. PERSONAL ACOUNTABILITY It doesn't matter what...

I researched therapists in our area, whom we haven't seen, who are AT LEAST LGBT-friendly. I sent a few messages giving a VERY brief outline that we are in an open marriage, seeking help with communication and problem solving, severe insecurity issues, anger management, possessiveness/control...

He isn't asking me to do therapy. He's asking for us to do it together. But yeah, I know it's beneficial, regardless, in one way or another. I'm not unaware of the legal aspects. I spent over 10 years on a volunteer basis typing, filing and advising on divorce/custody issues here. I am well...

The worst part is I can't even say any of that to him, because he sees it as me saying "There's nothing wrong with me and you are a total fuck-up." Ironically, when I cheated, I focused all of my time and attention on changing and fixing MYSELF, because I saw the "biggest issue" in our...

My thought is this, Kevin: Even if the therapy doesn't help in terms of resolving the conflict so our relationship can be recreated, we have children to raise, so we need to be able to communicate and work together for their best interests. There's always things a person can work on. I'm not...

My take on it (as awoman) is that I prefer that men not presume more intimacy with me than exists. If a close friend says I look beautiful today-thats cool. If a stranger on the street says "good morning" and continues along their path-thats cool. But giving me the once over-not cool. "Hey...

Every morning I wake up to Maca's alarm clock between 5-5:30 am. He sits on the bed to get dressed. I tried putting a bench in our room for him to sit on, but he never used it. I gave up. So I just lie here while the bed bounces. I wait until he leaves and things are calm and quiet again, then I...

I definitely feel this. I can make an emotional connection with a man, with or without sex. But I can also have sex and not make a good connection-and I dont like it. With a woman-its all wrapped up together and I fall fast and hard if not frequently.