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Ok, but then so is serial monogamy a form of non-monogamy. I'm not trying to put monogamy in the polyamory category. I'm saying that complete devotion to a single person can occur in various ways or at particular moments and this probably happens in poly relationships too. Surely there are...

What is that will save me from this punishment then, agreeing that serial monogamy is more like absolute monogamy than polygamy? I agree that it is in practice, within a given time frame. But then aren't poly relationships like monogamous ones within the time frame you give to an exclusive...

You come across as if you want to push me into some kind of subordinate position. As I said in the last post, I don't like it when people expect me to behave submissively to "fit in." I don't just like hearing myself talk. I am interested in others' opinions, otherwise why would I bother with...

No offense, but why do you and others here seem to think discussing things is all about self-aggrandizement? I don't worship pain and suffering. I do, however, want to explore the causes of it and discuss ways of alleviating/reducing it. You say that some people live unproblematic mono...

It sounds like it's a money/responsibility issue going on. It seems like people are willing to share their lifestyle with someone as long as they don't feel "used." Your bf sounds like he is feeling used by sharing material aspects of his life while you start a relationship with a new guy (old...

I was aware of this even in a monogamous relationship, only I couldn't talk about it, because it would have created insecurity in my partner. How do people think that monogamous relationships get new energy? How many people can live in social isolation with a single person with no new stimulus...

Ok, I'm finally starting to get why people are so irritated with me. You think I'm trying to claim "polyamory" as an ego/status trip to make myself more unique than just being an average (serial) monogamist. This is not my point. Feel free to call me a (serial) monogamist - I did choose it as...

What is condescending and what is drivel? Do you really think I could write all that just for trolling purposes? Can you or someone please explain to me why I'm getting so much rejection for my thoughts on feelings and relationships? Is there something that people are expecting me to conform...

The only difference between your view and mine is that I don't convolute the ideal concepts with the reality. I also see absolute monogamy as a practically unachievable fairy tale. Only I think that doesn't matter because ideals have a life of their own and the ideal of absolute monogamy plays...

Thanks, NYCindie. Finally I feel validated in my belief that serial monogamy is far from absolute monogamy. That blog really described the fairy tale of absolute monogamy well, didn't it? And what's so ironic to me is that while so many serial monogamists believe that they've achieved the...

I was really hoping poly people who are over the taboos of feeling multiple attractions would be open to understanding me and discussing these thoughts and feelings. Somehow I've only irritated people, though. Thanks anyway for trying.

Why can't she set her own boundaries and call them on any unfairness or ganging up that they do? Sure, they have the ability to team up as an arbitrarily loyal couple, but they can also be reasonable and accountable to her, can't they? If they can't, I don't think it would be wise to engage in...

So is the "forbidden fruit effect" just caused by unexpressed energy and unmet needs? I thought maybe it had something to do with pleasure in escaping restrictive control. Why limit youself? There might be some meats and fungi that provide unimaginable sensations. You know the old...

Ok, so much for gaining insight into my feelings then, I guess. So you've never had the experience of being attracted to a 'forbidden fruit' then?

Why does everything have to be said to me in a mean tone? Did someone put a "talk mean to me" sticker on my profile or something? So does having an open relationship preclude the possibility of any activities being construed as "cheating?" I thought open relationships involved express prior...

Sometimes changing culture is as simple (or difficult) as individual migration. The problem is that the 'free-est' cultures are often also the most strongly protected against migration. I'm sure there's a social-cultural logic to that, but that's a topic for another discussion.

What if couples voluntarily enrolled in an anonymous cheating club and had some kind proof of membership (like a quartz crystal keychain)? To get into the club, couples would have to have a consultation meeting where both/all partners expressed consent for the prospective 'cheating.' Really...

That book has been on top of my reading list for years yet I still haven't read it. You make a good point about boundaries, one I forget because so many people seem to use boundaries as part of their power to manipulate others. When you have experience that tells you how far you can take...

That's the weird part. I don't have someone to cheat on right now yet I still feel like I would be sacrificing my honor if I cheated. I think the feeling could be compared to a virgin who doesn't want to give up their virginity because they believe it is something special to be cherished. Yet...

I have had several online relationships that are exciting, but turn out to be unexciting in person. The textual connection is, IMO, its own thing. Someone who gets what you write, and writes you back in a way that is stimulating, is special, but it may not translate beyond text. Instead of...