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That's interesting. I knew it was allowed in special cases but I didn't know the special cases were commonly simulated to justify common divorce. I've also seen many divorces in my family and out, but after doing it myself, the illusion of it broke down for me. Before I got married, though...

I find it really interesting how divorce was nearly completely forbidden before the laws changed in the 1970s and since then divorce and remarriage have grown so much in popularity. Still, people insist on calling themselves monogamous (and believing it) because of the cultural taboos...

I don't want to pursue them. Just acknowledge their existence and not have to hide them or keep them secret. I'm not saying they necessarily will. I'm saying that if my gf told me she had a crush on someone, I would have a hard time avoiding thinking that she's going to cheat on me if given...

Definitions aren't my major concern. You could say humans are animals so human-human sex is bestiality, but that would just be semantics. My concern is about how to reconcile feelings with behavior in a way that doesn't involve hyprocricy or dishonesty. I think that is more important an issue...

Well, I also have to admit that it would/will be very hard for me to build up the trust in someone that they can have a crush on someone else or find other people attractive and be strong enough to sacrifice the opportunity to act on it. I'm sure that must sound controlling to an actively poly...

Yeah, I don't think it's that big of a sacrifice. The sacrifice that is to me unbearable is having to assure someone else that they're the only one you think about to protect their emotional security. It seems like people should be mature enough to accept the truth that you have a crush on...

choosing not to love = sacrifice I think the potential to love is not a choice. It is either there or it isn't. However, when structuring concerns are dominant, whether it be to protect a monogamous relationship from infidelity or to prevent having to further stretch your schedule with new...

Hey, GS. Yes, I think this is a concept that people have lost in modern serial monogamy. I had relatives that were married and could no longer live together but they stayed married after separating and never got divorced. This is also the way it seems to have been done during the time the old...

I think of them as independent concepts. I think you could have multiple lifelong commitments, yes. Why would you assume that because you have more than one lover that they have to be temporary? My view is that serial monogamy is a type of polyamory where you exclude past and future lovers...

Why does the multiquote function reverse the order of the posts? No matter, you are getting closer. I wouldn't say that I can't make a lifelong commitment, because I did that when I was married by having kids. I do think I'm poly, though, in the sense that I have the potential to love more...

"Cereal?" "Serial monogamy" is a self-evident concept isn't it? It's when people have one partner at a time but not one partner (only) for life. In my personal situation, what I mean is that I have been married and divorced and now I don't see myself dating more than one person at a time, but...

Thanks to everyone for thoughtful responses. I used to think that monogamy doesn't have to be for life (maybe why I chose the name 'serialmonogamist') but strangely it disappointed me when my marriage ended. In any case, what sage says to question why I'm opposed to a life long relationship...

You condemn yourself unfairly. The mere fact that you are so concerned about being a good person testifies to your goodness. Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit was the only true sin, according to Jesus, if that means anything to you. To me, it means that people who are sincerely in pursuit of...

Interesting that none of the others got stoned either, despite their also being seemingly guilty of sin. Also interesting that Leviticus only mentions other men's wives and virgins. I wonder if they were allowed to sleep with divorced women and prostitutes, of which I have heard there were many...

In my experience, many women are interested in dating to find a life companion to grow old with. As a divorced person, I question my ability and desire to commit to life long companionship again. When I am honest about this with potential dating partners, they seem to take it as giving up on...

I was talking to someone about having multiple relationships and we both seemed to reach the conclusion that it's so much complexity to deal with, that monogamy is just simpler. Also, when you know that someone else prefers the simplicity of monogamy, it is hard not to worry that they will...

None of this information surprises me. The Catholic Church is an enormous organization, so there are bound to be more abusers of the system than pious devotees willing to sacrifice all worldly temptation for a higher calling. Plus, if you look at the way the Catholic teachings work generally...

Sorry, this was something I have read/heard elsewhere and it just sounded like you were implying the same thing. I'm not yet completely convinced that all the accusations regarding the Catholic church are not attempts to demonize the church and squeeze money out of it. Of course I wouldn't...

Yes, I see that sex is also valued as a positive part of incarnation in the creation. I think it is like the whole idea of Lucifer as a fallen angel, i.e. that good things can get perverted to become evil depending on the intent and manner in which they are used. So while sex may be positive...

When you mention control disorders, the first thing that comes to mind is anorexia. However, since we're talking about sex addiction, sexual anorexia comes to mind as an anorexia parallel having to do with sex. Why is this parallel association relevant? Well, I'm thinking about someone like...