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That's such a good observation. It was hard for me to come to that realization about lying in my life. I assumed that all the power was in lying and getting away with it. There may be power in that but it's funny the way lying or hiding things causes you to have to tiptoe in someone else's...

I'm not implying anything and I'm not trolling. You're implying that I can't put things I've heard up for discussion because they may resonate with mono culture? Please let me make one thing clear: if I state something that I've heard or that I think, it's just that, hearsay or a (subjective)...

I've read so many posts that make it seem like anyone who doesn't act on all their impulses is somehow living a lie. Being human is, imo, about balancing desires with reason and the freedom to make choices. I believe everyone ultimately has the potential to desire partnership with more than...

Has anyone had the experience of bringing up the issue of open-relationships with a partner and losing them as a result? What about a partner who agrees to try out poly relationships and then the relationship fails once you begin seeing other people? In general, would you ever recommend...

Applause to you for refusing to respond to a cheater, but that moral action (which I agree with) is not the same thing as feeling less attraction. Attraction is one thing and moral/rational choice is different; they can conflict. What about looking at it the other way around? Do single guys...

I understand this feeling, but it doesn't really address the issue of whether you tend to find men more attractive when they are in relationships. Another reason I've heard for this is that being in a relationship makes a man more self-confident, which adds to his attractiveness.

Well, how could anyone speak about "all women," "all men," or "all people?" Maybe I should have said "some," but the deeper question is why would anyone assume that anyone could legitimately be saying anything about "all" since they can't possibly know "all" people? Besides, if I said that...

I can conceive of it, but I want to understand it on a deeper level. I think I can safely assume that all human bodies work in the same basic ways. So if someone is not attractive to anyone besides their partner, the question is what do they do with the information about another person that is...

I can loosely generalize that people always assume I mean everyone when I really am just referring to a pattern I've noticed among some people. I'm not foolish enough to think there is a generalization that applies to everyone, or even the majority. Diversity is the rule, not the exception...

It's a mixed bag.

The ones that feel uncomfortable with being "hunted" and who are unsure about how attractive men are until she sees them with another woman. Many like the challenge of the unattainable, I think, like the way some women are attracted to gay men.

Ok, so you do see a situation where a couple has lost romantic intensity but are still committed to staying together and making it work as a monogamist's opportunity to shift focus to a new love interest? I would still call that polyamory because if you have strong feelings of wanting to stay...

This is another reason women seem to find attached (monogamous?) men more attractive.

Right, but if you make yourself attractive for yourself, why would it surprise you if other people find you attractive too? Why would a woman who puts effort into making herself attractive for whatever reason blame her partner for finding other women attractive who use similar techniques for...

I have a hard time believing anyone is 100% monogamous. If they were, how could they break up from one person and start a relationship with someone new? I have heard many people say that when they are in a relationship they're just not interested in anyone else, which I can understand, but...

That makes sense. But how do you know if the connections you have with people are truly totally platonic, or if there's a potential for more? To me, it seems like if you find a person attractive and interesting, there could always be a potential for a relationship, but the reason you don't...

This comment intrigues me. Do you consider a person's behavior polyamorous if they just experience platonic love with multiple people? I view myself as a monogamist because I have never pursued erotic relationships with more than one person at a time, although I HAVE felt guilty about the...

The problem is knowing what to say when it does. Awkward silences can be unpleasant. I think a good way to come out about having poly relationships would be to prelude with how morally terrible you find it when people lie and cheat in relationships because they need to maintain a facade of...

Sorry if this shifts the topic of the thread too much but I was wondering what people thought about cheating when people are so good at lying and covering their tracks (or you're so bad at espionage) that they never get caught or confess. I have the idea that this may happen a lot more than...

People learn to block various kinds of empathy for different reasons. The kinds of empathy that your hubs blocks may be something whose emotional effects you have learned to manage, but he hasn't. Likewise, he may be able to empathize with some other kind of experience that you would resist...