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I think you're really onto something here. So many people take a manipulative attitude toward interacting with others. They think they have to come up with a secret recipe for how to act, and then follow that program. And if it doesn't work, they have to go back, change the program, and start...

Right. The thing that I find interesting about it is that it seems to transcend the ego. So I guess "higher self" implies that it's "higher" than egoism. Yeah, I just mention it because I was pretty alienated from religion before I realized all religions are just philosophers writing from a...

There are different ways of thinking of "God" in practical terms that distinguishes it from just any insane ideology you can think of. The way I think of it is as a concept of a good authority that is not afraid to question any human authority figure. So whatever anyone tells you or leads you...

I think this is a big issue. Whereas a woman who found out her bf was bragging or otherwise gossiping about their sexual encounters would stereotypically dump and avoid him, men are stereotypically either accepting or ignorant of their gf talking about them and their sexuality with her...

I think the most radical belief in Christianity is that individuals can have God's will directly revealed to them through the Holy Spirit. That idea gets dogmatized and chanted and people fail to think about what it really means, which is that individuals have the ultimate authority to know God...

I think it would be interesting to just break it down to figuring out what the various issues are either way, openness or privacy. There's been a lot of assumptions and accusations in this thread, my own included. I'm mainly thinking about it from my own perspective, since I would enjoy having...

I suppose you're right, and with Tiger Woods and Schwartzeneger, they were keeping it a secret from their wives. I think you underestimate the expectation that people were keep their dirty laundry hidden. Especially with respected public figures, there's a discomfort that people have with...

I could just as easily say that you're being defensive because you're in denial. The truth is, I don't know whether you are or not, but I think it is important to avoid denying that there is a culture of sexual shame that prompts secrecy and fear of being outed. What is it that you are saying my...

I don't think there's enough discussion about the social politics of secrecy, shame, and fear. I think people are afraid of what they imagine could happen as a result of their secrets being made public and that results in repressive avoidance of openness. Of course you want to respect people who...

That's true but I just know that most people don't like the idea of being your only friend so platonic monogamy is practically taboo even though jealousy does rear its head in platonic relationships too.

It doesn't have to do with coercing intimacy out of anyone. It has to do with people controlling information with people other than you. What you're basically saying is that someone is required to keep what they do with you a secret from other people. Obviously it would be nice if people cared...

Well, I guess you could read more into my questioning of privacy because, imo, secrecy and shame are byproducts of culture that equates open sharing with danger. When I am in a relationship, I like the feeling of being able to talk about past experiences, even if they took place in other...

All I can say is that for me this is mostly a theoretical issue for discussion. I am open to exploring how polyamory would work in practice, but I've never had multiple sexual partners at the same time. From the responses I'm getting to things I say, it's as if I've triggered some primordial...

People are free to pick and choose parts of any philosophy to learn from, regardless what others may tell them about it being wrong to do so. Ultimately, individuals construct their own personal philosophies from the things they read, experience, and think. If they choose to do this by...

I see your point, but then wouldn't you say that people also have the right not to have their partner talk about them with friends, therapists, etc.? Isn't the issue more talking about others with respect, rather than total secrecy? I read a book on truth once that said that when you keep...

While I think you are pointing out a relevant fact about the relationship between sex and love, I think a lot of jealousy and control within monogamous relationships is focussed on sex primarily. For example, when I talk to people about polygamy/polyandry, they seem to view sex as the defining...

Idk, you could become spent, lethargic, and neurotic. How do you differentiate, then, between finding a model attractive and a partner? Isn't physical attraction physical attraction regardless of your relationship with the individual?

Ok, thanks for filling me in on the context. I didn't get that she was already seeing someone else. Yeah, you're right that she could freak out when she gets a dose of insecurity from the fact that he actually CAN establish a relationship with someone else. People can encourage their partners...

Well, like with everything else, there are private issues that don't beg disclosure. Sure, some people like to announce particularly significant aspects of, say, a bowel movement, but not everyone appreciates the information, and it may offend, as well. I guess it depends on individual...

I think it could work, especially in modern life, where women can head their own households. The tricky part is conceptualizing how two individuals can be married and each be head of their own households. For example. a woman could have multiple children with multiple husbands if she could...