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Hello. It has been a while since I posted. Life has drifted along fairly uneventfully lately for me, my mono husband and my boyfriend of two years, Colin. I'm more or less ok, although my marriage has dulled. We are working on that. Lately I've been struggling with how to be content with the...

It is your home though, right? And you are one of three -now two? -people paying all the expenses. I'd think that would give you quite a lot of say. I think counselling is in order. I wonder if L realizes that "helping someone" and "enabling someone to drink and waste time all day rather than...

Agreed -the lack of communication could be anything. My bf did that the first time we got really sexual, which was several months in. Turned out he was just freaking out a little and couldn't put it into words. (Now he knows that I at least need to hear "I can't put my thoughts into words right...

I've got the mono spouse who is reluctantly agreeing to my poly arrangement because he wants me to be happy. He is very frank about stating that my bf's feelings don't matter to him one bit. He sees bf as an unwelcome intruder in our previously monogamous marriage, and never wants to lay eyes on...

I've also been struggling with a dwindling sexual dynamic with my husband, alongside a very exciting one with my bf. Before having a bf I thought I was just sexually broken, no libido. Now I realize it's far from the case. Having another person to remind me that I am a sexual being, and make me...

I don't need a lot of foreplay, but I do need to feel like I am loved, appreciated, and desired. I think I can get myself in the mood for sex, but not in the mood for having it with a particular person. He has to do that for me.

Here's a new revelation: My husband says that when he told his father that he wanted to marry me (a love marriage with an American woman who'd been around the block, not an arranged marriage with an Indian woman), his father predicted that my husband would not be the only romantic/sexual...

That's true for many people in our shared social circles, but the one who almost asked (I assume... maybe she only wanted to know what toothpaste brand he uses) is a friend, to both of us, and to my family. I wish he had pushed the conversation forward, but he said he wasn't quite sure what to...

Just another update. I feel like I post when things are getting rough and I need help and encouragement, which paints a one-sided picture. Things have been sweet lately. My husband has been putting in a lot more effort to be with me, and talk to me, and has even been affectionate. I had a...

We've talked, lots. We have different definitions of love and loyalty, and of course he has a monogamous mindset, so for me to say I love him and also say I want to have an intimate relationship with another man seems illogical to him. He feels it is not loyal to share my body with two, whereas...

I'd just like to add that you could make the choice to stay with her and try to "get over" (or more likely, bury) your poly tendencies, as she wishes. You might get a lot out of a relationship with her. I did this. I hadn't heard of polyamory, unfortunately, and only knew that I had a problem...

Yes, this is true! I have also had to admit that sometimes I've tried to do "loving things" just to be able to say, "See? I'm doing this!" At the same time, I think that when I can't find it in myself to feel tenderness and affection, I should at least try to behave in a loving way. Love is a...

Magdlyn, I think your situation must have been a lot more painful than mine, and I'm so sorry you went through it (and glad to hear you are in a happier situation now). If your ex wouldn't hold your hand or cuddle, it sounds like he wasn't putting in the necessary effort to make YOU feel loved...

I should probably mention that I've been a little isolated lately with a relapse of a chronic health problem, so I'm not as cheery as I could be. Of course my feelings for C are hard on my husband, but as SchrodingersCat points out, the distance has been a problem for a whole lot longer than...

Point well taken, and I have been asking myself quite often if I'm really being everything I know how to be for him, or giving him everything I long for him to give to me. Part of my struggle all along has been not knowing how. Not knowing what he wants. I've begged and begged for specifics, on...

It's not as if he doesn't try, but we're just very different kinds of people, and he isn't a very social being. Sometimes he'll come to bed with the intention to talk to me, because he knows I want to be talked to, and then he'll launch into a story about something technological or otherwise...

Update again Another update about my mono/poly marriage. Things are pretty stable right now, for a change. I haven't had a trip with Colin since mid-December, but we have one planned for next weekend. Between times, we have had two or three short visits when he's passed through town. We text...

Little update... Monogamy didn't work either. Colin and I tried to turn our relationship into a "friendship" in which we are still in love. We found ourselves back struggling with how to get any time together that wasn't impossibly squeezed between other things (since he lives 5 hours away)...

He and I share many of the same desires when it comes to home and family. I love our home and family. I love him. I am not always "in love" with him, but the feeling does come back from time to time. I don't really want to live alone, nor do I want to live with any other man. My husband is the...

We worked out an agreement regarding my relationship with Luke (long time friend to whom I am romantically attracted) that allows hugs and kisses, but not touch that is intended to arouse. So that is my husband's definition of "no physical intimacy." Our agreement for the past year has been that...