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Don't you hate it when you flip the car radio on and you're happily singing along to some upbeat song about being in love, and then it hits a line about "only you" or "you're the one"? I'm guessing there's a scarcity of music with lines like "When you give me time to love him too, my love for...

Have you put M in touch with this board or any other way to read about polyamory and particularly people who practice it? I'm guessing she has so much guilt and shame around her feelings and actions, being honest is more than she can handle. It's one thing for you to give her this amazing story...

I'm not sure how C being mono would be an insult to my husband. I would almost think that it would vouch for his sincerity in his attentions to me -he's not just out playing the field. (Not to say poly people are, but my husband might see it that way.) Whether C would want his own wife to be...

Which attitude? C being mono?

Yes, thank you. We do. It doesn't stop us from having the occasional conversation about, "Are you sure I'm good for your life?" C doesn't think he'd be able to share his attention between more than one partner in his life at a time so he will likely not date me when he finds someone who can...

I am wondering what you mean by "crush" if it is turning out to be painful. I have always enjoyed developing crushes on people, when there is no expectation or hope of it becoming a relationship. For me I guess that feels like a friendship with a little extra layer of excitement that makes the...

I just wanted to voice my agreement with this sentiment. I believe our thoughts and feelings are our own, to share or not as we choose. Especially when you yourself believe your jealousy is beyond "reasonable". I think the time to tell her about this emotion is when you would like her to change...

Oh, we must be cut from the same fabric! I have been accused of being even too honest at times. C says he appreciates that I don't punish him for being honest. I have in fact gotten upset with him for times he has glossed over his true thoughts and given me what he thought was a friendlier...

Most of the time I manage this. I think, "He's really crazy for being willing to get involved with me in this limited, restrained way," but I know he is making his own decisions based on full disclosure of what he can and can't expect from this. Sometimes though I hear this nagging voice in the...

Wow, she's lucky to be with someone like you! Sounds like you are supportive, eager to learn, willing to look deeply at yourself, wanting to understand her. Bravo! I wish you both happiness. I know for me it was a relief to hear about polyamory too, since it explained my destructive past...

Ok, now you have me a bit scared! Something else like what? Because he's been claiming from the get-go that he's never felt anything like this for anyone else in all his 50-odd years, whereas for me it was only ever, "Wow, another intriguing and delightful man I love!" plus the excitement of...

Yes, I know. I haven't said a word to him about it. It feels unequal though! Sometimes I feel like he has me up on a pedestal so high I can't reach him. He's someone who doesn't really recognize his own self worth, and really seems to believe I am out of his league, which is ridiculous. I feel...

Yes, clairegoad puts it well. I want us seeing each other for who we are, flaws and all, and I don't want giddiness being a drug-like distraction. This is especially important to me because this is my first significant extramarital relationship and it's been a tough adjustment for my husband of...

How long does NRE last? It's been a roller coast year since I got to know, fell in love with, and worked out boundaries (with my mono husband) for my relationship with C, and I've been very much looking forward to the end of our NRE so things can start to feel steady and peaceful. At long last...

The other day my 5 year old told me she hopes our state makes it legal for girls to marry girls when she's grown up so she can marry her best friend. In the next sentence, she told me she wished this best friend was her sister. To kids this young, love is love is love. They don't see that the...

There's a pretty big grey area, isn't there? My husband wants to know who else I am involved with, so he can avoid them. That's pretty much all he wants to know. I'm sticking to the boundaries he laid out (no PIV or oral sex) and he's trusting me to do that. He has no interest in hearing about...

I've been grappling a little with this too. I'm really excited about my new relationship with C, and sometimes find myself wishing I could see him more often, or that he would be able to promise to keep this going (he's mono and seeking more than I am able to offer). Now we joke about "living in...

Okay, things are looking up. He gave me a written explanation and apology, and I can see his point of view better now. Exactly. He says I simply walked away without giving him that chance, but I only went a few feet away, so nothing was stopping him. I think he's so conflict-averse he tries to...

A little more discussion and he says it's not that I went back to that partner at the end, but that I started with someone else in the first place, rather than sitting with him while he finished eating. He says most couples would have waited out together. I figured we were attending in order to...

Ach, it's happened again! I had that fateful New Year's Eve dance, shortly after my husband and I first opened up our relationship to allow some physical intimacy with my other beloveds. I danced with Colin for the second-to-last dance before midnight, and when I found my husband for the last...