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Again, you should have thought of all of this earlier. Pregnancies don't just "happen." Your husband should not have been so careless with a woman he didn't know or trust. Now, for better or worse, you have a baby with her. So, you need to accommodate that. Give her the space she needs, now...

I'm guessing you brought up the guy's age, because he's 20something, young, and might be flighty. Age difference is usually something that can be overcome, but in this case? It looks like the gap is too much. I'm sure he likes you, but most people tend to develop the more serious...

Hmmmm, it's a bit unfair for you to not let her have sex with him, when you are. But since she did invite herself into your place, knowing she had to ease into the relationship, some unfairness on your part is not unreasonable. Still, it's kind of on you on what kind of relationship you want...

This is partially why we don't have "nights." We just fluctuate, based on needs and personal schedule s

Maybe. I feel like this is the kind of thing that should be discussed BEFORE moving in together.

Why isn't she having sex with him? Is she on her period or something? It might not be that you are and she isn't, also. Maybe she just feels awkward hearing it; in which case, if you've invited her to live with you, it's probably good manner to be quiet. Or have sex when she isn't around.

I experienced that same thing :) We did end up moving closer together. But you still should do it for the two of you, and not trying to compete with the other women.

Poly will be hard for you if you compare your relationship with the other women. Yes, they will likely grow closer to him (than you). Yes, their relationship might evolve faster. But, guess what? They probably date guys/girls who they have less time with/farther distance from than those...

You cannot tell your girlfriend what kind of contraception she uses. There's no "line" in poly, the whole point is you and she develop your OWN rules. However, this is something you DO have a personal choice. You can gently tell her that she has the right to do what she wishes with her body...

Hello, I'm not going to try to talk you into finding additional partners, as you don't seem interested in building another romantic relationship. Nevertheless, is there any way you can be a fuller part of your partner's life? It's taken me years, but steps have been consistently taken along...

Ok, I think perhaps this guy is getting too much flak. I, too, have little to no interest in sex just for the sake of sex. My partner feels the same. If he wanted random hookups? That's fine, but I doubt I'd want him as a primary relationship if that were his interest. Same for any other...

Well, for me, I crave both. I need and seek poly relationships more than casual sex, but sometimes I just need it. I might very well be a sex addict. My partner is similar to me. Now, you can fight it. He's been literally in pain (severe blue balls) and waited till he was with me or his...

Well, maybe we ARE the strange ones. Even if we got beyond the sex hangups our society has, I don't see the majority of people going poly. Most people you date will invariably ask/hope for you to be monogamous with them. I've tried being honest, too, and I can say from personal experience...

I'm just going to offer my usual advice to newbies: You can control behavior (kind of) but you can't control emotions. The "no falling in love" rule, regardless of how it's worded, usually sets one's partner(s) up to fail. It doesn't matter what boundaries you set up to keep outside...

I can understand that, but it's not necessary to live in the same house to have a day to day life together. The only real reason I see for sharing a home is because of kids, particularly very young kids that need you there overnight.

Finding two mono men who don't want the trouble and hassle of what they would be expected to provide to a mono girlfriend is good (neither feels neglected or jealous of the other, since they prefer NOT to provide for all their girlfriend's needs). Finding a triad requires finding two bisexual...

Now, I don't want to discourage you out of your idea, but have you thought of getting a separate residence, but in the same area? I live five minutes away from my boyfriend and his spouse. I can go to either place, as can he. But I don't have to worry about splitting bills, etc. I just have...

I've always wondered about that. But the minute I suggest something similar, someone invariably screams "poly police"!

If she's mono and wants kids, and he's refusing to give her that, why is he wasting her time? Seems kind of unfair. I can imagine she's swept in NRE and thinks maybe she can change him, but I doubt that.

I know, I know there aren't any definitions, really. Still, I'm not a fan of the idea that "primary"="married." I feel that's a very common misconception that primary HAS to mean married/living together/longest relationship.