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  1. JessicaBurde

    Prosympathetic immunity

    One of my boundaries is that my partners need to be civil with each other if they can't at least be polite they aren't someone I want to be in a relationship with anyway. This isn't a rule between me and anyone else, it is my boundary in terms of what I will accept in a relationship. IMO, if...
  2. JessicaBurde

    Polyamory and Ethnicity

    Yeah, the definition of a minority is that they are a minority, but when you go to a poly convention in Atlanta and the turnout is over 90% white, it's a red flashing neon sign that the poly community is even more dominated by white-folk than demographics would suggest.
  3. JessicaBurde

    Ever meet another poly in person?

    Aside from my first husband, who introduced me to poly, most of my partners have been new to poly when I got involved with them. I've met a few poly folk in person over the years where we didn't connect first over the internet, it isn't common but it has happened. (I'm not counting in this to...
  4. JessicaBurde

    Polyamory and Ethnicity

    This is a long and much-discussed topic among several of the email lists I belong to. According to a few researchers who have looked into this, some of the reasons minorities seem to be scarce in poly communities are: Intersectional oppression: a white person, especially a white middle class...
  5. JessicaBurde

    Poly Vignettes: Sharing Success & Happiness

    My partner has several chronic illnesses, both physical and mental. This means A) he can't hold a regular job and B) almost all the housework falls on me. For understandable reasons, this stresses me the hell out, seriously interferes with my ability to have any other relationships, and puts a...
  6. JessicaBurde

    Libido Inequality= Deal Breaker?

    Couple of thoughts: I agree with what a few people have said that if you it can't be on just you to change or make this work. I have a similar thing were my libido is really high early in a relationship, and then just drops like a rock. Usually about a month in. I've noticed in the past, and...
  7. JessicaBurde

    On the way to Poly...maybe

    Yes, and the OP is free to be uncomfortable with it. About nine years ago, after my daughter was born, my mother and some of siblings (who live in Israel) came to visit for a week. At the time, my polycule shared our home with two friends. When I told my friend that my family was coming to...
  8. JessicaBurde

    On the way to Poly...maybe

    Mountain/=Molehill Hi Vervain, welcome to the party, the kool-aid is fine today! ;) I've been around the block a few times, and know some other folks who came to poly late, but all of your questions fall heavily under the "YMMV" heading. For what it's worth, here are my answers: You're over...
  9. JessicaBurde

    US Poly Laws or, Where are all the poly friendly places?

    Update on Bigamy laws One thing I forgot earlier--Jason's writing on Utah bigamy laws is no longer accurate. In the Brown vs Utah case brought by the family from Sister Wives the appeals court ruled that states could not outlaw multiple relationships. Basically, you still can't get married to...
  10. JessicaBurde

    US Poly Laws or, Where are all the poly friendly places?

    The short answer is that right now there is no one resource where you can find that information. In general (and I emphasize that) the only issues that come with having a child outside of marriage are those related to adultery laws, and paternity. For paternity you can contact the health...
  11. JessicaBurde

    Hello from PA

    Hi all, My name is Jessica Burde, I'm the author of the Polyamory on Purpose blog and Polyamory and Pregnancy book (published in 2013). I apparently had an account on here that I completely forgot about, and re-discovered the site when someone linked to my blog. Currently I am in a long term...
  12. JessicaBurde

    US Poly Laws or, Where are all the poly friendly places?

    Links to Legal Statutes I'm the author of the Polyamory on Purpose blog that was linked to early in this thread. I'm glad some folks have found it useful, but the main reasons I stopped posting in the N's was that Jason Cherry's Non-Monogamous Discourse was doing a better job that I was of...
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