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    Need help with sex problem

    Can anyone recommend a good book, or maybe some good strategies, for fixing a dead sex life? I've gone for years having to initiate all the sex because my husband doesn't like rejection, and finally just put my foot down and said this is killing my self esteem. So he's trying, and I realize that...
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    How to have a "secondary"

    Hello. It has been a while since I posted. Life has drifted along fairly uneventfully lately for me, my mono husband and my boyfriend of two years, Colin. I'm more or less ok, although my marriage has dulled. We are working on that. Lately I've been struggling with how to be content with the...
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    What if polyamory stops working?

    My story is on this forum in bits and pieces from the past two or three years, but the summary of my situation is that I have a monogamous husband who is tolerating my relationship with a man (Colin) I fell for about a year and a half ago. Through lots of trial and error, we agreed last summer...
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    Can a monogamous secondary be satisfied?

    I've been running up against a wall lately with my boyfriend Colin. He's my first real dating relationship within my marriage, and it's been going on a year or so. He let me know at the beginning that he was really looking for a full time partner, and we were trying to just enjoy what we have...
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    When is it a "relationship"?

    Lately I've been grappling a lot with what it means to be in a relationship with someone. In a way, we relate to everyone we know, so we are in all sorts of relationships of varying types -friendships, sibling relationships, business relationships, etc. When it comes to the "I'm in a...
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    Learning to be me

    After many months of posting here in moments of confusion and frustration, and getting such wonderful advice and support, I'm now in a place where I would like to write about my life but I don't have pressing questions to ask. Time for a story. Chapter One: As a single woman, I had a bad habit...
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    Poly friendly music?

    Don't you hate it when you flip the car radio on and you're happily singing along to some upbeat song about being in love, and then it hits a line about "only you" or "you're the one"? I'm guessing there's a scarcity of music with lines like "When you give me time to love him too, my love for...
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    Jealousy? Entitlement?

    Ach, it's happened again! I had that fateful New Year's Eve dance, shortly after my husband and I first opened up our relationship to allow some physical intimacy with my other beloveds. I danced with Colin for the second-to-last dance before midnight, and when I found my husband for the last...
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    The pace of the one who is struggling most

    I've often read this wise little piece of advice on this forum, to go at the pace of the one who is struggling the most. What it usually seems to apply to is when someone gets a new partner, and an existing partner is new to polyamory or otherwise unhappy with the situation, so the new...
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    Is honesty always preferred?

    I have a question related to honesty and cheating. I've been in a monogamous marriage for 12 years, but "came out" to my husband about my feelings for another man a couple of years ago. To his great discomfort, I insisted on discussing things thoroughly, and we concluded that he was in no way...
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    Struggling with monogamy

    Hi, I've been married 12 years to a sweet monogamous man. I came on this forum last year and received a lot of help as I learned about polyamory and realized this is how I tick, emotionally. With encouragement from the good people here I started talking to my husband about this, and we have come...
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    What the heck is love?

    Hello, I don't have a question so much as I just want to hear the thoughts of like-minded people. I found this site last summer when a long-term friendship started getting passionate, although I am happily married. I was amazed to read about polyamory and realize things about myself I'd long...
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    Married, in love with two

    I've been married for 11 happy years and could not imagine a better husband. We express our love to each other in many ways every single day. I've always imagined that people who had affairs were seeking something that was missing, or they were unhappy in their marriage, but lately (the past...
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