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I think its more than natural that a new lover is going to cause most peoples eyes to glaze over when they see their more established spouse/lover who they've had sex with hundreds of times. nre, novelty, maybe she's more physically pleasing to his eye, I wouldn't take it personally. Just...

I see no similarities with your story. What I see is someone eager to share his sexual stories and counts his threesomes as bragging points.

Another thing that should be take into account is the idea of ownership of information. Nobody has ownership of information except the people that know it. It is up to them to share that information and nobody else has a right to that information unless they choose to share it. We all have...

wow two year old post resurrection from the dead

Might be quicker for you to just do a search for spouse leaving me or ultimatum. The message boards are filled with such stories.

I'm sorry to sound so judgmental but why are you with a self admitted lazy alcoholic who squats in house?

I'm sure part of his problem is that he feels emasculated. Having his wife with another man by itself can feel very emasculating, couple that with your seeming resentment at his unemployed or under employed status is probably destroying his self esteem. Most men feel that being a provider and...

First things first. I would strongly suggest you not live under the same roof as her. It gives you no escape and no privacy. They are in the throes of New Relationship Energy (nre). You can't and you shouldn't try to compete. The best you can do is explicitly state your needs and quantify...

thanks. FYI my wife and I are not practicing poly. I did have an OPP in the beginning but would not should we reopen our marriage. This board has helped me rationalize a lot and helped me do some deep introspection on all manner of issues.

I'm glad you know what lies in all men's hearts better than they do. Can it be my turn now to tell you why you feel a certain way about a certain something with broad generalizations and little acknowledgement to your opinion?

I'm sorry I should have clarified. When I refer to the intimacy between men and how those men try to not get too close in our society, I wasn't implying that the two men would necessarily have sex or even emotional closeness. However when you have a romantic partner you consider that person a...

I believe it has less to do with believing a lesbian relationship is inferior and more to do with how men are socialized in our society. Men are raised to be very superficial and standoffish with other men and never become too personally close physically or emotionally. We are also raised in a...

Please speak for yourself. It gets really ridiculous around here when the OPP gets brought up. Everybody seems to know precisely what is going on in a man's heart and mind when a man has an OPP. Despite the fact that they don't know the man or the relationship and usually it is often summed up...

indeed it is very couple centric. From what I have read and witnessed on these forums, poly is almost always entered into from the state of a monogamous, couple centric ideal. Its how most of us have been socialized and it is very hard to reprogram out of us. Call it what you will. But this...

the thing you are leaving out is CONVINCING your partner. You see, meeting their needs and making them happy are the easy part. I had been doing that successfully for close to 20 years with my wife. But when you try to cross over from monogamy into poly, then meeting needs is rarely...

isn't that what poly generally is? Buttering up our partners so they will consent to other relationships? I know it sounds coercive but that is the nuts and bolts of it. Showing sufficient loving actions so nobody feels left out or slighted. Ultimately the only way to ever get consent from...

From what I have read and experienced personally, poly only works well if both partners believe in its tenants and enthusiastically pursue it. The minute one of the partners changes their mind and begrudgingly endures it is when it is destined to fail. The resentful partner consciously or not...

you two are approaching this strictly from a sexual perspective which is not really the focus of this forum. To most people involved in poly, sex is just one piece of the puzzle. We are focusing on committed emotional relationships where sex may or may not be part of the relationship. Are...

this guy sounds like an absolute self absorbed ass. Why even be with him? He has nothing of value to offer.

I have experienced almost the exact thing that you have described. Feel free to pm me if you like we can talk over text or phone if you need some perspective from a fellow who's been there done that.