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In all you (OP) said, nothing was ever said about the issue that was at the root of all the cheating.. Something was wrong and all that ever happened was an addition to the family. Did you seek a therapy session or two? Did just the two of you work on what the original problem was?

Do you have scheduled time with him? Have you invited him to your family function? Have you talked to him and told him how you feel? Would you feel comfortable dating someone else?

I thought a lot of the problem was his partner, not that it was him completely. You have plenty of people here to talk to regarding being poly. You don't need to keep him around as a poly friend, you want to keep him around to keep in contact with him. Be honest with yourself. ;)

Hi... Welcome to the forum. Congrats on forming the quad... Looking forward to reading about your experiences. Nancy

Writing vows is so hard. It took me forever to write mine. The kids finally started making fun of me, and a suggestion to say, "Hey, I showed up, didn't I?" was passed around. So, unfortunately, I can't help with that. But I will say Congrats! It sounds very romantic.

Sorry to hear about your former gf... but, there is/was something more going on with your gf than just catching you watching porn in order for her to try suicide. You should not internalize that or dwell on it and definitely understand that you were not the cause of her attempt. You certainly...

You can stop communicating with her. Check your state's law on grandparent's rights. There is no statute for grandparent's rights when the parents are both living and are together (married or living together) here in California. Your state may be different as far as visitation. If your child...

Polyamory doesn't necessarily come easy for me. But I don't take the stance that I will sit and complain and do nothing to help myself either. I work at it, and study, and do what it takes to get to a reasonable answer. Me and the others "like" me? Do you know me? Who is "like" me? Do you know...

You say that it does not matter any longer that he won't divorce his wife and marry you; then you say you feel less important to him because he won't divorce his wife and marry you. Why would you stay in Germany if he died? What would be left there anyway? Your kids and grandkids are in the...

Totally agree... Writing is a good way to get out all the feelings and thoughts ands resolutions. You can write in a journal to help with your own personal issues. Writing to him, then waiting a day or two to calm down and edit if needed saves a lot of feelings that could be hurt other wise...

Yes, I call my kids by the name of another one of the kids, and the kids have called me teacher, and the step mom's name..lol It happens.. no worries...

Hi Rainbowkez, I am bi, poly, and Christian... Though according to most I'd earn my way to hell by being bi before I'd go for being poly...lolol... It's a good thing I don't answer to anyone who thinks they have the right to judge where I go when I'm done on Earth... Welcome to the forum.. Nancy

Can you stop any type of moving forward until you have a long talk with her? What exactly is a "woman like you"? it sounds condescending... No one can tell you if she is playing games or bad at communicating. You need to find a way to communicate or tell her that your not understanding what...

She is 26, and not used to being polyamorous. I would wager that there was something more to throwing her out than just dating a married man. I also would not have let her ruin my vacation. She doesn't seem very caring for your wife or you for that matter. Take it as a lesson learned and go...

He seems to be abusive, period. It has nothing to do with polyamory.

She's always around you (i.e., bathroom, meals, living room, etc.) because it's HER house. If you feel the need not to have her around then you should move. Both of you (you and him) not being honest with her from the very beginning is wrong on so many levels. I know you're hurting, because...

You have written in other threads that this is becoming an issue, your time with her vs his time with her. I agree with the "red flag" alert. Have the three of you sat down and talked about your relationships, and how they could move slower until you and she connect better?

So sorry Oly.. Big huge hugs.... It was terribly selfish of her to consider giving the same gift to her cheater girlfriend, that you two had agreed to give to one another... Make sure your "cooling off" communication period isn't too long. It's easy to let the anger simmer and the resentment...

Hi Sunshiny, Welcome... Hope you find the answers to the questions that you might be having.. Nancy

Hi Diki, We are in a small town with a small conservative Christian mindset, so I understand how hard being out in the open can be. But you owe no one an explanation either. You'll find a lot of information here that should be of help. Communicate openly with your partner is the best advice...