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Hi! I have written and deleted (and edited) this post 3-4 times now, as I realise I am a rambler. So here is the attempted short(er) version. One year ago today, my partner of almost 13 years asked our best friend to be her boyfriend. Today they celebrated their one year anniversary, and life...

Sorry to hear about your situation, Bangel. For me, it comes down to a simple question: is it worth it? If not, be your own primary and protect yourself.

I am so glad to hear you're doing good! *happydance* Keep up the good living, best of luck with work and just....love life! *hugs*

Damn, I am so sorry! Best wishes and fingers crossed for you! This is also an excellent time to be in a kind of relationship where you have the support and care of not only one, but two loved ones!

....are you really sure about this? I don't mean to question your feelings or level of acceptance, but for me, if nothing else, I would consider it rude. Alone time ALONE is one thing, but in the same house when you are there is not cool, in my book. Could this be a reason you feel small, or are...

Thanks, TP! *Hugs* It has its... no, *I* have my ups and downs, which affects the relationship(s), but I feel I am definitely on the right path now, having allowed myself to feel and deal with the real fear and insecurity, ignoring the fake feel-sorry-for-myself parts, and just dealing...

Hi! Thank you very much for your kind words. I had to read through this thread myself, and it's like a distant past for me now, it's almost scary. We are three months in. Today is actually their three-month anniversary, and reality keeps changing. I have had some highlights and a few breakdowns...

Hi.... I wanted to take a few minutes to share what is going on these days. For those who "know" me from the board, it's easy to see that I have flailed and battled myself for a while. Good news is, I think I am winning. After soon 13 amazing pedestal-years with my partner, she came out as...

2 months into mono/poly relationship, me being mono, I'll have to say still an 8, but my conscious understanding of the reason has changed dramatically. In the beginning, I was pretty much a constant 8-10, feeling very threatened and insecure about my partner's new relationship. That has...

You are definitely not alone. :-) I am a mono in a new poly/mono relationship, and you are right on track reaction-wise. I can highly recommend reading this forum, and all resources it links to. Anita Wagner's Making Peace with Jealousy is good, as are most other links you will find here. You...

The only two cents I can offer is that in my case, my partner fell deeply and truly in love with a common friend of ours, and thus realised she was poly, before she told any of us. So, romantic in her setting is deep true love, for both of us. :)

Okay, first things first. You have to look out for number one. That is you, by the way. I had a much better start at this relationship, with honesty, but I have to admit, I went through very much the same reaction pattern. Why can't I be enough, why can't she just love me, why why why? I lost 6...

Rereading your original post, I must admit I have some concerns. First, you said you were lied to, and you point out in your second post that the relationship is based on lies and deceit, and I am a bit confused about this. Did you have an agreement on not falling in love with anyone? How did...

Hi, and welcome! I am in a very similar situation with my partner of almost 13 years. Vanilla fell deeply in love with a close friend of ours, and came out as poly just recently, asking for my permission to start a relationship with him. They are very much in love, with a very deep connection...

Yeah, I have a few ideas lined up for September, things to try, going out with people, etc. It will give me the time I need to deal with her relationship. The beast of jealousy and fear does rear its ugly head quite frequently, but I am aware of it now, and it's quite fascinating to be able to...

Yup, I'm happy to confirm that I am in a much better place now than I was 2-3 weeks ago. I started this whole elaborate stage 1-6 of intimacy when in a group setting, blah blah, chucked it all away and ended up with them being good friends around me, a greeting kiss and some time to say goodbye...

Oo err! :)

This is very true, and it seems polyamory is different for everyone. For my partner, polyamory was very simply the definition which really fits her need to have her two soulmates in her life, in full relationships. She's never felt a lack of anything, or need for anything "else", but she...

Welcome! There are plenty of good threads to read about foundations for a good poly-relationship, and simply the best bunch of people here for you.

Sadly, yes, there are a lot of inconsiderate this-is-who-I-am-deal-with-it kind of people out there, but Vanilla has been nothing but loving, caring and trustworthy in this. She has found her second soulmate, and wants to keep us both. And there was absolutely nothing pitiful or maintenance-like...