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What is the timeline on your progress? You say you started out holding hands and cuddling, and now you are at a point where kissing is ok, and you snuggle whom you want. How long has this taken? I'm starting to think I might be pushing myself into a boundary setting which will only make things...

Well, we are quite a bit past that point. I really don't mind seeing them kiss and touch each other. Lacking better descriptions, it's the times when they just melt together in NRE, needing to hold each other and just cling. That is what makes me feel replaced and, in a way, unwanted, and that's...

Ah, indeed, Vague McWavypants at your service. See, the thing is, my metamour (call him Jake) is an old friend of mine. We kinda fell apart when Vanilla came into my life. I didn't keep hanging with the same group, and we just disappeared for each other. Then we "rediscovered" each other 2-3...

And my second thought after posting this was quite simply, I don't think I can handle NRE in a group-setting.

No, seriously, we did. This is officially a how-do-you-do-it? poll on behalf of myself. A quick recap of setting and timeline: My partner (I'll call her Vanilla) came out to me as polyamorous 4 weeks ago. She has a full set of intense feelings for a close friend of ours. He has reciprocated. 2...

I have become painfully aware of that lately, and I understand I have a lot of work to do. I am on SO many arenas in my life right now, it's borderline insane. I am forced to dig deep in my own and old issues, discovering things almost every day. The last weeks have seemed like months, and...

<rant-warning> I have Opening Up on my Kindle, and I have sadly only gotten to read the jealousy-chapter, but I will read the whole thing. I did some self-cognitive therapy today, and I will share it, understanding the risk it can have for me. I created a simple scenario, including most...

That was Wednesday, and it went great, really great. She was so happy to see me. I felt so important and loved. We cuddled a bit, and then drove home, where we continued cuddling and talked a lot. Her NRE really spilled over on me. It felt fantastic. Some of that positivity lasted til Thursday...

This would be the first thing I would change. If you know they are going to have sex, if they are in the same bed, either BE in the bed or leave the room. If the bed only fits two people, get a bigger bed. Seriously. A triad is inclusive, not exclusive. The second thing would be to talk to them...

I had good help today from a friend, and Vanilla's sister. That helped, but today has been very long and tiring. Vanilla has been gone since 10-11 this morning, and I'll go to pick her up at Jake's place in a few minutes. It might have been a bit much, with 12 hours. It feels painful and bad...

Well, it's not exactly all song and dance, I will admit. Deciding to trust her was definitely a release, and I do trust her to come home to me, but it took me a very short time to regress into the familiar discomfort. I think I have, in a way, restarted the whole process by setting her free...

Redpepper, thank you, I am honoured! Things have changed, but not necessarily for the better for me. I'm having huge problems focusing these days, and I keep thinking about them. Vanilla arranged a fantastic getaway just for us, yesterday, fancy hotel with a lovely outdoor pool. She coined a new...

Thank you, that means a lot! *hugs* Now I need to save up for my therapist appointment after their first night, i.e., my first night alone. Whaaaaaaaaah... I reckon a good workout, some good company in the evening, and some sleeping assistance will make it all manageable. And the certainty...

I can totally understand that. For me, it's a really mixed-up flipside roundabout kind of setup, because my partner had this wall of emotions for him already, and he was probably taken aback a bit when she told him, but he has, as far as I know, reciprocated in every way, and seems to be in this...

I absolutely agree in general, but again, in this specific matter, it's a go/no-go, absolute 0/1 for me, and I know it is for my partner too. I don't have to tell her specifically, she knows and agrees, and most likely reads it here too. :) Thank you! :) She has registered here, and she reads...

When it comes to her eventually having sex, all I demand is that she takes necessary steps to protect herself and me. We are not even close to them spending a night together, much less having sex yet, but by removing myself from that equation, I give her back control over her life. She's not...

Well, technically, I just removed kissing from the rule, leaving sex. So, no definition of kissing, just that it was allowed. Sex was easily defined as anything that can get you pregnant, transmit an STD or lead to orgasm. Very simple definition. But all gone now. Except for the pregnancy and...

I took a giant leap of faith this morning, trusting myself for the first time in my life. Last night, Vanilla and I had a friend over and we talked a lot about the situation with him. He is very monogamous, like me, and in a way, argued my case to Vanilla. I think this really helped her open up...

Thank you! I do feel like I've come a long way, and I know it's only been a few weeks, but every now and then it sinks a little deeper, and it scares me every time. This is real, this isn't reversable or re-negotiable. My life has changed, in some ways to the better, in some ways to the...

That is so comforting to hear, thank you. *hugs* This forum is amazing, you can find almost any combination, all situations, and always someone slightly ahead or slightly behind you. Feel free to pmsg me if you ever wanna chat and share experiences. I've made a few, but my mental canvas has...