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You can very well turn this around, by taking this opportunity to talk about it. http://www.practicalpolyamory.com/images/Lemons_and_Lemonade_-_Poly_Mono_Relationships.pdf Check out attachment 2, Fourteen steps to opening a monogamous relationship. As dingedheart points out, the need is...

LostRane, thanks, I do sometimes have the same thoughts of 3rd wheel. Now, I am being very unfair as we've only been doing this for less than a month, and he is super-busy, not having much time free for her. It's easy to conclude and make solid statements, but so far I have waaay too little...

Yupp, I am very much in the same line of thought. It'll be a while down the road before that happens, but I know I am make it better in my head, and I know it's just BS. If they've never had sex, what scale of uncomfortability will it even measure on to have ME there?? :-) I know the reality of...

I take it that Rane is your partner, and Draco is her boyfriend? I have no experience yet with my poly partner having sex/spending the night with her boyfriend, but I know that the time will come, at some point, and I expect them both to be gentle and understanding with me. I have a hope that...

Success, a first taste of! Hello! I just wanted to share how I feel right now. The other day I realised that my non-kissing rule was just self-protecting BS, and acted as an annoying bandaid, half-torn, tugging at my skin, protecting nothing. So I turned the game around for myself and have...

Well, yes and no. She fell in love with him over a year ago, but didn't realise, or admit to herself how much until just a month ago, roughly. She told me, then told him the next day. After that we arranged some boundaries, people talked a bit and we kinda just started with some fumbling steps...

Thank for that advice, Minxxa, I think I have also made myself think that if I just try hard enough, I will eventually stop bleeding every time I see them together. What I made myself painfully aware of last night though, was that no, I probably won't, but hopefully I will bleed less, and gain...

Hi, I see I was unclear. She has lots of patience, but limited total resources due to illness. It's *really* not that she doesn't want to, but she can't. So far she has handled my flailing very well, and I feel that she listens. I have started being brutally honest with myself, and both of them...

Yeeees, that made so much more sense. :) I am such an airhead these days, trying to make sense of it all. A safeword IS a good idea, and I'll talk to her about it right now! Thank you for reminding me! *hugs*:)

Thank you, good advice, I will. I am not a journaler or blogger, but I have started writing in a notebook, by hand. I feel it gives a lot more impact to myself when I write longhand instead of on a pc. And I have written down a lot already. It has helped, but I ended up working myself physically...

Feel free to share some details of your set up, start, relationship, etc., I would love to hear how it started, what it felt like, challenges you had, how you worked around them, etc. Feel free to drop me a private message, if you prefer. Thank you!

Hi, Redpepper. Thanks for your kind words. I'm afraid I have already proven myself unworthy of my own descriptions. I jump and flail all over the board, while they are calm and loving. I think it's starting to dawn on me that the boundaries I've said I'm okay with, I'm really not. And it will...

I had a good long think about this today, and I think I again did the mistake of putting myself in their relationship, maybe as a way to feel safer. But it gives me no sense of safety, only fear. I have no business in their river. I think I will take heed to your words and be better at isolating...

Thank you both for valuable inputs. A challenge for my venting is that my partner has very limited reserves for my flailing, for permanent reasons, so I have to find other ways of flailing, and I should've brought my notebook. I do agree, communication is the key, because this is killing me...

Another plan ended completely different than I hoped today... Today my partner's boyfriend picked her up at noon and they went back to his place. I was going to go to his place at seven, spend some quality time with both of them and then have a romantic dinner with my partner. I was planning...

Thank you for pointing this out. This was one of my most important awakenings before going into this. I do not own her; she is not mine. She loves me intensely and purely, but she is not mine, therefore, I don't have any power over what she can or cannot do. The only thing I can do is to be true...

Fears... Bangel, I have just recently entered a poly-mono relationship where my wife has started a relationship with one of my best friends. She has felt poly for years, but has just recently admitted to herself and to me that she does in fact love someone else with the same intensity as she...

Hello everyone, I am now on the third day of my new life, after my partner (Vanilla) told me 2-3 weeks ago she was polyamorous, and loved one of my best friends (Jake). Thursday, all three of us sat down and talked about what we want, need, etc., and we decided to give this a go. Now, I use...

Hello! This is a weird thing for me to do, but then again, so is life these days. I am a hypersensitive mono, almost 36, who has been (is in!) an extremely good and safe relationship with my partner (Vanilla) for about 13 years. We have no kids, and no interest in having any. She started...