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A little different. Both my guys have had the snip, and we're fluidbonded - a remnant of a time we were close mfmf swinging friends. My partner of 27 years gave me a set of rules in the beginning that became guidelines. One was the my boyfriend couldn't come in me unless my partner was there...

Run don't walk

As a swinger unless spoken about previously I would say you leaving them in the bed together, combined with your words before are in some ways an endorsement or green light for them both. I don't think your partner should be made to feel guilty in this instance. You perhaps should have woken...

My anxiety seems to be tied into uncertainty (lack of control) and an in-built belief pattern that loves hurts - ie to love however pleasurable is just setting us up for loss. I'm working on it.

Well I said I was going to give this relationship a month to feel better and it's a month later and we're both still signed up for the ride. It occurred to me soon after posting that it's probably going to take a few months until things don't feel awkward for us. That helped me dial down my own...

Love it BUT I'm allergic. Dangerously so.

He's over compensating, he wasn't there for them for a few key years and their mum has real issues - gambling mainly. One of his 2 daughters has mental health issues inc rage so he can't bunk the girls without causing damage to the balanced one... I don't get it either as far as moving/mixing...

Thanks Mags - firstly Yuk to sex in front of kids - he literally is talking about the act of just sitting on the couch, hanging out. My house is full of older kids too, we generally have a quality overnight catch up in hotel every 3 weeks or so and just steal moments where we can weekly in...

Hey thanks everyone for your honest thoughts and to Galagirl for taking the time to dissect. I had thought about coming in and editing it down for ease of consumption but I am glad I didn't. Timeline for the BF is we met nearly 2 years ago, had a close sexual and platonic relationship as 2...

Some background for anyone interested... I'm the hinge in a straight Vee with my very long-term partner and a semi long distance boyfriend who I had been having a sex only relationship with for a while. Calling that new relationship love is a way off but it opened me to recognising poly was an...

Well it's all ticking along nicely. I had a week or 10 days of feeling a bit insecure due to inconsistent patterns of communication and my overactive imagination. Then we (me+BF) caught up casually a couple of hours one on one, lots of nice words came out from him, starting with I missed you...

Thanks Kevin, that's what I'm thinking. One of his kids just had a minor accident and he's reaching out which I'm taking as him seeing me as part of his support network which is all I want - with some kisses and cuddles thrown in...

Well we had a great night together, I got to share my thoughts, simply positioned that nothing needs to change and I wasn't asking for anything new back but that I held genuine affection and esteem for him and wanted him to know I wanted to support him however I could through this time of...

Quick update. We've found ourselves connecting weekly, although only for a few hours. Partner has volunteered to sit out on our next hotel meet (tomorrow) so I finally have the opportunity to see what page Boyfriend is on. Looking forward to being able to report some kind of outcome over the...

And immediately after writing that Partner comes in - says he's really comfortable with all of it, trusts Boyfriend and me, understands that wasn't the dynamic 5 years before and encourages me to seek a little 1 on 1 time with Boyfriend. I share my musings on the emotional and physical...

Thanks Mags - lots of that was spot on except for - There is resentment hanging around from when Partner fell in love with a former swinging partner. She was a vanilla work colleague of ours, and it was very much a 1 on 1 proposition. Our kids are all adults, his are old enough to be left...

I've been thinking about this, the kids have all met the adults but not eachother - our youngest is as old as his eldest but she has quite a severe physical disability which affects her stamina so they're not a match for activities but there's common ground - and my youngest needs peers as she's...

We have a quality overnight catch up once every 3 weeks and sometimes some nice face to face time in-between but only sometimes. We met about 20 months ago and while he was in the couple we saw them weekly. When we do see each-other it's always a great energy, my partner is there too, boyfriend...

I have a little bit of an update. My partner kind of pretended that he hadn't really absorbed what I had told him and made me repeat it all twice. He then went quiet for a couple of days and pointed out that maybe it's not information that the boyfriend might want to hear right now. Which I...

Thanks so much for your thoughts. Really very helpful. I'm really ok with calling him my boyfriend, ideally I'd like this to play out gently - and with some longevity. Loosing the pressure to feel like I HAVE to bring it all to a head (thanks Mags) I found an opportunity at the weekend to have...