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Thank you all for the support. It really does mean a lot. I find it so hard to believe that I am a capable in so many areas but keep falling down over getting away from Prof. Prof sent me a minimal Happy Thanksgiving text. I waited 6 hours to reply with a similar minimum. I will need to message...

Well Done Jane! My scale is working upwards again. I wish it was muscle! I couldn't believe my eyes and checked my Fitbit steps. They were so low. Far too much driving and horrible weather means vegging on the sofa instead of walking. I did get out for a couple of shortish walks but still, for...

So, therapy, yes. Trying to connect to emotions. Very hard. Been working on it for quite a while. Last week inner me crawled off into an angry black crayon scribble corner ( I have been watching a lot of horror movies ) and very clearly asked why am I letting him ( Prof) do it to crayon...

We worked hard! But I do actually enjoy being useful and helpful in practical ways. I really get a feeling of "job mostly well done" and what was achieved was of benefit. I am likely easily taken advantage of because I like being busy and getting things done. It makes downtime feel more...

Mr Exotic is not much of a texter but he does like chatting on the phone! We had a good talk on Thursday night about dating/relationship goals. He said he is definitely through his post-divorce dating period and is looking to settle down a bit. He says he is open to me being poly/open but he is...

I am back over the decade again, just by a little. I need to get back to writing down what I eat and drink again and get out the measuring cups. I need to stick to 1,200 per day.

Thanks Vicki. I am terrible for doing the same behaviors over and over. I can see myself doing it but familiarity is hard to beat. I had a very nice day with Prof up to the point he was doing the old" someone said" and then "someone said this." I asked him way be so cagey when I have met and am...

I had a nice chat with Mr OLD. He is keen to meet and willing to drive as I am where I am for the week and he is where he is. Enthusiasm is nice. Here's me over thinking and planning again, but it's possibly time for me to give up poly and look at monogamy/serial monogamy. I am just not willing...

Hi Jane. They were 2 separate incidents. The cat was actually my second cat lost in 3 months. One was 14 and the other was coming up on 19. Kidney disease for both. I am now fur baby free.Friday night was vey hard. I went to bed to cozy up and watch tv and ended up crying on the phone to my...

I did try to edit my previous post for errors but the time out/captcha monster got me. Please excuse.

Senator Binks. Art is indeed very subjective. I am glad you enjoy them! I did have a good time watching with the kids though admittedly I had to give up on Phantom Menace and went to bed at 8pm :D:D I mostly do not enjoy child actors and I do not enjoy virtually any scene with moody teen Annakin...

Yeah, so me and the kids binge watched the middle parts of Star Wars over the long weekend. The Annakin/Natalie Portman movies. I fought long and hard but eventually bought all 3 for cheap of eBay. Freaking Disney pulling them off online to rent. Like I would pay $19.99 to own The Phantom...

Do I present as ambivalent? Arrgh. I have been working on neutral with romantic relationships. For all else I have deep caring and love. I am therapying the heck out of myself as to why I choose these utterly unsuccessful romantic relationships. It mostly seems that I pick unobtainable and...

HI Valynn, What a cute cat name! :):):) Have you thought about prescription kidney food yet? It's not a whole lot more expensive. I wish I'd know about changing their diet before the damage was done. And well done on reading all my blog! I suppose that is what long weekends are good for :D...

I know all your user names and I read all your stories and news. It really means a lot that you are posting kind words. My friends and sister have been amazing. My mum is the person she is. My dad tries to be understanding. I hid in my closet last night and cried on the phone with Mr Lime. I...

Cat and me are having a decent last night. She loves being brushed, so we did that and watched tv until she wanted to go back to bed. She will look loved and well cared for tomorrow. Because she is. I talked to Prof. His online calendar has turned into a bit of a shit pit. Wednesday nights were...

My first baby is ready to go. I have a chair at the end of my bed and it has a ramp to the floor. This is where she has lived for the past multiple years. Even when the arthritis is bad, she gets up on the bed for reading time and goes back her spot when reading is over. She has been waking me...

After receiving some information about Prof's schedule it would appear I am relegated to Ubering again. Maybe there will be more weekend time but..whatever. I didn't bother to contact Mr Lime today. Ugh...whatever. I am chatting with a second OLD person. I do think I am will do monogamy...

Mr Lime said he wanted to come to the cat thing but has something on the calendar that has been there for a while. I told him I wasn't expecting him come. I tried to get out of him if he was mentally planning to just come for an hour and leave or actually spend time. He skipped around answering...

Thank you Leetah. I agree with all you said and am holding boundaries. It is very hard to write and not give up too many identifying details. Prof has become this emotionally vulnerable and far more open person. He states that he will need more than one person to support. He says Ms Cherry is...