Search results

  1. H

    Walking and Falling

    Done I'm just about done here. The party line among people who identify with or subscribe to or have drunk the Kool Aid of polyamory is that love adds, love multiplies, and if you open yourself to loving many, you will live a life of abundance. I call bullshit. Given the limits of...
  2. H

    Walking and Falling

    I started a new account on OKC. Why? Because it's almost autumn, and I've grown wistful for the sound of crickets chirping. (I'm about 72.6% joking, there. I've been doing pretty well, these days, getting daughters ready to start a new school year, preparing for a new school year of my own...
  3. H

    Hi!

    Hi, ACappellaSoprano, I'm in a very similar situation to your husband's - right down to the fact that my wife is a soprano! - and I have come to think there is no way to address or alleviate the imbalance. I honestly suggest your husband find a hobby that engages his attention and...
  4. H

    Walking and Falling

    Less-than-monogamy I've never much cared for the term, polyamory. I'm on record somewhere on this forum saying as much. But how should I describe myself? I've tended to think of myself as responsibly non-monogamous, but it occurred to me today that the term involves a rather unhappy ambiguity...
  5. H

    Walking and Falling

    . . . there I was, settling all too comfortably into my deep blue funk, when I did direct my browser to a certain blog I read from time to time, where I found this: http://the-toast.net/2016/03/02/why-are-you-lonely-a-text-game/ I spent the next few minutes nearly doubled over in agony and...
  6. H

    Walking and Falling

    . . . aaaaand sometimes you don't catch yourself. This is one of those times, when it seems as though agreeing to polyamory was a sick joke at my own expense. Far from opening me up to the world, it has left me feeling more hopelessly alone than I have felt since I was a nerdling reject in...
  7. H

    Why Being Solo and Poly Has Made Me a Happiness Evangelist

    The Toast is generally an entertaining and interesting blog; it was surprising - in a good way - to see a post about polyamory thereupon.
  8. H

    Colbert's All-Inclusive Wedding Cake Toppers

    In a bit on the Late Show, Stephen Colbert tries to cover all imaginable marriage combinations . . . http://www.cbs.com/shows/the-late-show-with-stephen-colbert/video/099A8177-EB3D-3049-3B15-07D96B8DD98A/stephen-colbert-s-all-inclusive-wedding-cake-toppers/
  9. H

    Your most recent OKC messages. post em here!

    I haven't been on OKC for over a year. About the time I deleted my profile, one conversation with a woman I'd "met" on the site had moved to our respective anonymous, off-site email accounts. She abruptly quit writing to me soon after; I shrugged and went on with my life. Just the other day...
  10. H

    New York Times op-ed on Polygamy/Polyamory

    A column in today's New York Times should be of interest. Note that the author responds quite reasonably to objections against plural marriage that assume traditional polygyny. http://nyti.ms/1JtOwIE
  11. H

    the price of open (and closed) relationships

    But then there's this: And, to put the quotation you pull out in some context: So, no, it's not a pro-polyamory manifesto, but neither is it simply pro-monogamy. It leaves open the possibility that risk is irreducible, and the choice to be monogamous is no less risky than the choice to be...
  12. H

    the price of open (and closed) relationships

    There's a lovely, nuanced refection on the risks of relationships, open and closed, in The New York Times, this morning: http://nyti.ms/1SOb9yv
  13. H

    Hi everyone!

    Welcome to the forum! I can very much relate to the kind of tightrope-walk you describe, trying to be open, but somehow not openly open, in a way that invites scrutiny and disapproval and shame . . . especially here in the South! My own situation is similar to yours, though my wife and I had...
  14. H

    Walking and Falling

    The main difference between walking and dancing is this: when you're walking, you're falling forward slightly; when you're dancing, you're throwing yourself forward without reservation. Oh, to live like that!
  15. H

    Walking and Falling

    So, I just spent the afternoon with the person of interest to whom I alluded in my last post, she for whom I am sort of maybe falling a little bit, sort of, and catching myself, and so on. We got together for a couple of hours at her place to play some tunes, drink tea, and talk about music and...
  16. H

    Walking and Falling

    I'm starting a new thread here, as it seems there may soon be some new developments in my life. The title comes from Laurie Anderson, Big Science (1982): (You can listen to the number - not so much a song, really - here: https://youtu.be/02BIaMBfUc8 ) I keep thinking of this because I sort...
  17. H

    What Is Love?

    The sweetest definition I know, from Rainer Maria Rilke:
  18. H

    Hi from a mostly happy unicorn

    Welcome! You'll no doubt get a reply from our Official Greeter, very soon. In the mean time, you should brace yourself for a little push-back against your use of the term, 'unicorn', which many here consider to be problematic, if not offensive. Take that with as much good grace as you can...
  19. H

    Douthat on "polygamy"

    This is curious: Ross Douthat, one of the conservative columnists for The New York Times, makes a few predictions about "polygamy" as the next step in the unfolding of "expressive individualism." http://www.nytimes.com/2015/05/31/opinion/sunday/ross-douthat-the-prospects-for-polygamy.html He...
  20. H

    "Terror-Based Sex Education"

    It was in East Lansing, MI, which is where Dreger lives; that's all in the Twitter feed and in any number of stories about her and her work. The story has now been taken up by USA Today: http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2015/04/17/alice-dreger-live-tweeted-sex-ed-class/25926883/
Back
Top