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Yeah, you hit on kind of a sore spot, here, and one of the deeper, personal reasons I want to keep worrying at the idea of consent, and reasonable care, and other such ethical notions. (I mean, aside from the fact that I teach and write about ethics all the time.) I am really not in any hurry...

Umm . . . that abbreviation is taken Sorry to be reviving an old thread, but the term BOPO came to mind, just now, and I thought I'd see if it had made its way into Urban Dictionary. Turns out, there's already an entry for BOPO, and it doesn't have much to do with polyamory. More sort of...

Impaired Consent Doubling back to take up some points in an other direction, from earlier: Regarding mind-altering substances, this strikes me as just about right, especially when the other person is the one thus impaired. If two people agree, when sober, that they're going to get really...

We are making a positive claim: A model on which an individual can have committed, intimate relationships with more than one person at the same time is viable and beneficial, and will at minimum not harm others or detract from any important aspect of the common good. Given some of the nonsense...

In some of the deeper reaches of theory regarding autonomy and consent, the idea of "society" as a big anonymous other that can only ever impose on us is likely to be rejected in view of society as a community of which we are each members, and in which we are each decision makers. I'm...

A Possible Argument for Institutions that Limit Freedom I'll have to keep thinking about this - as always! - but a couple of points in response: First, it seems the burden of proof may be on us to show that our particular kind of deviance is not harmful . . . since we are the deviants. As an...

This is one point regarding which I am still on the fence. It's easy to cast this as "you and me against the world, you and me against them", but that treats society as a monolithic other attempting arbitrarily to impose limits on our freedom. But, then, even our freedom can be seen as based on...

I misread the principle, at first, so I thought it was a call for disproportionate retaliation. Now that my eyes are focused - it's early, and the tea is just kicking in - I can see it's sort of a laissez-faire idea: Do as you will, so long as it doesn't harm anyone. (Though, according to...

Disambiguation Okay, reading back over what I just posted, it seems to me I raised not one but three - at least - separate questions: What is consent? Under what conditions can someone be said to give consent? (and, May their capacity to give consent be impaired in some way?) If all parties...

I've been ruminating on a question about what it is that puts the ethical in ethical non-monogamy. I haven't really settled the question to my own satisfaction, so I thought I'd introduce it here for some discussion. What I'm hoping for is a really frank and serious discussion, but one that is...

This is a bit too cutesy for its own good, and probably less powerful than the host seems to think, but seems somewhat relevant to this thread: http://www.upworthy.com/a-funny-man-helps-women-laugh-about-something-men-do-to-them-then-he-helps-men-stop-doing-it?c=ufb1

That's an amazing article. Thanks for posting it! --- P.S. to our most esteemed moderators: I'm starting to wonder if I should have started this thread on the Fireplace forum, instead. It seems less relevant to media coverage of polyamory and related issues all the time.

I wouldn't say most people on PMM are couples, though certainly some are. At a glance, I'd say the proportion is lower than on the personal ad boards on this site. It also has about the usual proportion of people in the overlap between poly and kink. It's just that the number of members is...

Well, it's not my scene, but I understand FetLife is quite active.

I've been on PMM, and off it, and on it, and off it several times. It used to have a fairly active forum, but they've shut that down due to problems with spam; no indication of whether/when they might bring it back. When the forum was active, a couple of years ago, there was something of a...

The connection with misogyny is the video he left in which he cast his rampage as revenge against the women - that is, all women - who denied him the sex to which he felt entitled. He may have been mentally ill, but he was not mentally ill in a vacuum: he picked up on and magnified a sense of...

I know it's not directly related to the theory or practice of ethical non-monogamy, but some of the more informed and thoughtful commentary on the killings in Santa Barbara, the motives of the killer, and the wider culture of misogyny do seem to be germane. Themes of consent, equality...

Answer: "That depends. What would you like me to take to you? I could make a nice noodle casserole and take it to you."

Drama! Vix is traveling again, an a road trip around the Midwest in pursuit of her avocation. Under other circumstances, I wouldn't be fazed by her departure but, given events of the past week, I'm feeling entirely out of sorts. Vix was supposed to be traveling with a companion, a younger...

Here's a couple that might explore the possibility of a three-way screaming argument: http://www.theonion.com/articles/couple-keeps-it-interesting-by-bickering-in-differ,35739/