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Why assume you have done something wrong? Also - and I really don't want to pry into your way of coping with trauma - but I wonder if it would be easier for you to get some perspective on all this if you were to stop drinking, get some rest, and take care of yourself, a little. I mean, I can...

But, even then, I'd want to know the definition of the verb, 'to slame' - or is it 'to slamy'?

First, welcome to the forum. I hope we here may be of some help to you. Second, no, you're not going to die from fear. Do take some time to breathe, though, and to calm yourself as well as you can before you turn to face the source(s) of your fear. After all, nothing has actually happened...

Oh, don't get me wrong. I have no trouble doing things for the sake of having fun. I have gone off to music camp on my own, for example, and the girls have seen me pursue my interests in music all the time, which is certainly not a matter of grim duty! It serves no serious or professional...

There may be a few people here who are judgmental, in a harsh or arrogant sense of the term, but mostly the main contributors to this forum are just really, really honest, sometimes to the poin of bluntness. There's also a great deal of awareness of ways in which the language we use to talk...

Negotiation Vix and I fell into a familiar sort of conflict, yesterday, but seem to have worked through it in record time. It's the kind of conflict that, a few months ago, would have had me steaming and stewing for days, even weeks, but we got past it in a couple of hours. First, some...

Brief Update I don't have a lot of time to write, this morning, so I'll just give a quick update on the week. Vix has been struggling in her reaction to Doc's revelation that he (only) "likes" her. She got her head straightened out about it a few days ago, with the insight that she had made a...

Many on this forum have a "big tent" understanding of polyamory, defining the term simply as openness to having more than one committed, loving relationship at a time. This can take many different forms, including closed triads. Remaining single and having many lovers, as you describe, is...

Advice for the Lovelorn It's been good to have Vix home. We had a low-key evening in the house last night, watching bad TV SF with the girls after dinner. After that, Vix debriefed me on her visit with Doc, which was . . . complicated. Once the girls were asleep, Vix and I greeted one another...

The Vixen Has Landed! Vix's plane touched down a couple of hours ago. She's nearly home, and I'm not far behind her - riding the train back from an afternoon meeting. No other news. I'm just really, unabashedly, blessedly uncomplicatedly (?!) glad she's back.

Yes, please keep writing about your own experience, without contorting yourself or your words always to be overtly about poly. Just write about your experiences as you struggle to have an intentional relationship with Matt, for as long as you think engagement with poly folk will be helpful to...

Am I Learning Anything? (I just got a message from Vix that she's now on her way to the airport for her flight home.) I've been feeling oddly contented today. It was a slightly lazy morning - making breakfast for the girls, practicing music on one instrument and another, hanging out online -...

From the User Guidelines thread: Offered without further comment.

I was chatting with Vix on FB just now - our default form of communication when she's in Europe and has access to wifi. She's back at Doc's house, packing for her flight home tomorrow. (Tomorrow!!) I told her about the image I had of Doc in a ball gown, in the context of telling her about the...

Thank you for the vote of confidence. Thing is, I said it because it's true. Doc is a tall, skinny guy who comes across as very reserved and, perhaps, just a little distracted. When my friend asked, "On [Doc]??", the question immediately conjured the image: Doc in a ball gown of a past era...

"Do you know Doc?", redux So I was at a party last night and one of those in whom Vix confided most of the story asked me, "Where's [Vix] this evening?" I told her Vix is off on her travels. The interlocutor asked: "On what continent?" I said, "Europe," as if to say, "where else?" (I note...

Well, then, tally-ho! After them!

Wow, there seems to be an awful lot of spam on the forum today! Is there anything in particular we rank-and-file participants can do to help? Does it help, for example, to report each and every instance of spam as it comes up, or does that just tangle things up for the mods? Please advise.

Oh, could I ever use one of those! But, alas, I have to take the long way around to personal transformation, just like everyone else . . . assuming personal transformation is even possible!

Lunch: A Postscript Before I posted my entry about lunch, last night, I sent it to Nyx with an explanatory note. She wrote back today to thank me for writing, to tell me she still feels a lot of warmth and love for me, too, and to tell me that it was good to start reestablishing the...